fiddle dee

She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes In shape no bigger than an agate stone i know i know... mercutio was talking about me

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

goody two shoes

What's up with everyone trying to be polite when actually what they mean is:

The presentation sucks;

Was it dark when you dressed up?

The diet coke aint goin to kill the combo order;

Did you hit the socket after combing the hair love?

Kankomewo (sp) etc etc

My point- I had the most productive meeting in the shortest of time, coz he asked the right questions, and made it clear what he wanted- he's a keeper- finally... moving on!

It was all business talk...

Saturday, November 25, 2006

player Player!

My DVD player just feels the need to communicate to me

dvd: no disc... please insert disc

dvd: dirty disc

dvd: cannot play disc

dvd: *silent treatment- more like "no comment"* basically it stares blankly into space like I didnt put it on.

Viewing my predicamnt, I have shelved the bloody thingie and on to other entertaining and probably more constructive activities... ok maybe plural is an -ies too much

Context...Just viewed savage's impeccably clean library...
I have been trying to kick the trashybooks- ok i am a bit deeper than that let's say fiction (shelves of them) and picked up the self-help, constructive kind of book thingie.

I managed 2 pages of the Execution, when got a hold of the infamous Satanic Verses... difficult read; like eh? I mean bad- worse than my abstract writing (there is hope!!); then caught on.

Picked up the execution again; then got Donald Trump's the art of the deal... really nice- think really BIG... one day....

Back to the execution... and in comes one of them hilarious English novelists...

I picked the exec up again... incoming mantra "i can do this!!" and then I conveniently remember "it's been a while since I blogged"

It is a bit difficult to execute the reading of this book, when i havent read the execution, absolutely frustrating!... *tee hee* Feeling proud of my feeble attempt at humor... no, irony- whatever!

I must say though, peoples' looks change into shining admiration and respect when I carry it (Yes, the execution) around (habit- filling the gaps during the day)- I can do this, I will do this, and execute the exec!
since i havent posted any images of moi, you can know what LM looks like now, she is the girl carrying the execution around the streets of kla!

end of post *sigh* back to the execution

project fame

Linda's rendition of bob marley's redemption song was tear jerking, really intense- i actually never really gave the song much thought before- like WOAH!


ok ok... let me read the damn thing!

Monday, November 13, 2006

to have or not to have

A drinking bud asked me a totally out of the blue, at a tangent, I mean a where-the-fuck-do-you-get-off-asking-me-that kind of question.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

and I lied gracefully and glibly…”yes…” with a totally straight face… yes, I lied! After a total declaration of my independence, and graceful justifying my comfort in my not very conventional behaviour, I went straight out and lied.

Honestly, coming from this society, just to keep away lechers, and opportunists, scum bags who figure a girl over a certain age is definitely dying for it (sex that is) and will be eternally grateful to a pity shag from them; it also helps calm chick’s nerves, they don’t feel the need to cluck over their partners- let’s just say, I skip quite a bit of the crap this way.

But as soon as I said it, I almost laughed, ok I actually let out a giggle (old habits), he didn’t quite get it, I guess he figured it is a chick thing. Anyway, I giggled because, my ‘boyfriend’ is actually a combination of several guys I like- you know, exes, prospectives, coulda happens and will never happens. So basically, you never could figure him out.

I know, you going to say I have issues, well I do- commitment, attachment, and several ‘-ment’ issues, we all do- if in denial you are way ahead of those who haven’t figured it out they have or their issues.

Like for example, my biological clock should be ticking, but honestly, I am not in any hurry; ‘never given birth’ is a good enough status for me. While others view kids as continuing their lines- some twisted sort conspiracy-immortality, or a step in nature’s process, like menstruation and menopause- I honestly don’t dislike kids, just view them as pets.

They are cute, they learn (I taught, once upon a time) and you see progress, they tell interesting tales, they are cuddly and can do the sweetest things- that’s all good, but I aint doing the 24hr rest of my breathing life thingie- that’s asking for too much!!

With those few words, I say is there any divorcee who doesn’t need a second set of kids, has a life, is intelligent, funny and incredibly fantastic in bed (if you can show growing potential case will be considered) - a love for literature, music and spontaneity is a definite plus… oh by the way- yes, money is a prerequisite… who am I kidding, give me a call in my next life then!

Honestly speaking, I am easy to please… NOT!

njagala space!

getting office space in this K'la of ours

This must be the most annoying, tedious, winding not getting any where task!!

Office equipment, check; favorite coffee mug, check; brilliant mind, with devastatingly good looks to match, check; work that brings in money, check; what is left… oh yeah, office space!!

Get this place in bugos, not bad, just looks right, well, it’s near enough to the main road, we have seen the first room, and the second is locked- a mumble about the landlord, estate manager- knock on door and try to figure the volume in between- sounds hollow enough for board room- sigh, that was easy… now for the final fine details
“Come tomorrow” she says… “No problem”- knackered anyway.

Day two… no landlord slash estate manager, “definitely tomorrow” realize there isn’t any power for second day running; bloody load shedding! Force smile, and move the next day’s appointments.

Day three… she doesn’t look very friendly today, but is able to muster a “hellos” anyway, as she goes back to her katogo- is it possible to see the ‘board room’ we ask and she looks up with the corners of her lips turned downwards
“Are you people serious about renting or you are just disturbing me?”
eeeeh….. And there’s no electricity again! let the sneering dogs lie…

get brilliant place, with a large grassy compound, with trees and shade from the sun- perfect! And landlord gets to drawing up a lease- and we do a loving inch by inch scan (interior deco fingers itching!!)

Then the throne room; the loos… have to run about 300m, turn the corner and voila- a cement structure, struggling to keep upright in the midst of a chocking bush, which I was sure was home to a shocking number of species. The need (complete dire straits) overrides the fear of creepy crawlies and I make a dash through the doorway in to a squelching slippery slimy, and moss coloured and covered floor, that opened up to the most disgusting latrine loos I have ever seen… the closest being them filthy boarding school loos… eeow eeow eeow! Eeeeow! Totally gross! Gut retching gross!

When informed, the Landlord looked totally unperturbed and mentioned something about it (fixing the loo) not being rocket science (he could have fooled me) “it can be fixed, but that is now more costs”; then gazes at us unblinkingly, without shame… what the f#$K has that got to do with me?! It’s ur bleeding building and it is a downright disgraceful eeeooowky shame!

Move to next office space- a lewd leering old man has his eyes almost falling through my cleavage, and could literally hear them crawling up my colleague’s midi skirt.
“Actually I have space i think you would like- ok” (did he just lick his lips?!) ”… downstairs, corner office, right next to the entrance”- are you kidding us, we looove this space- poor thing looked like he had just been informed of a ménage a trois!
On follow up call next day to arrange for payment of rent, he grunts something about not being interested! And maybe we should wait till next year, he would have partitioned the top floor!...hmmmmmm
I know this is the time when we should have used our female wiles and cajoled the space out of him- then again, regale him and then pay for rent…eeeh I don’t think so!

Property guy needs airtime and busfare to get space … help! Anybody!!

Monday, November 06, 2006

About Jack Bauer... True Story!

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe its beef.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time.

Wait, that is a real fact.Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.

Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

When Jack Bauer pisses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

When the boogieman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?

Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Gotcha!! Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.

Guns don’t kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're dead."

Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.

It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.

If Jack Bauer were gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.

After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

symptomatic thirties


#The midriff thickens- lowered metabolism…. Waist is not as waspish anymore

#A tyre begins a steady creeping in… and can be controlled by loads and loads of exercise

#The dimpling cellulite invades the thighs and backside

#And the waddle begins it’s descent

#The excitement of a decent cleavage (finally) is soon dampened by the slackening of the gravity defying booby work

Your arms develop wings… yes the flabby upper arms are no exciting feat

And the cute little tummy, becomes a major case of a permanently sucked up gut which doesn’t do much… but probably correct your body posture

All these can be pretty depressing, but can be fixed… with a lot of work, money, and time too… what you cannot take away is me, and knowledge of myself.

I no longer do the mob psychology thingie; don’t need to go partying, attend concerts or society gatherings because everybody is, and to top it off I will wear what I like… no matter how out dated it may seem- look at it as being ahead of the crowd, considering the cyclic nature of fashion- I have style! i am n longr a slave to fashion.

If I seem to be tolerating your BS, I would run a mile if I were you, think check and mate, I only sacrifice for a good reason… any laast words for your king?

the sex is soooo much better; it is divine! - and good lovers are keepers

I am a manipulative, calculating, shrewd bitch; I will get what I want and need; logic being the end justifies the means, non?… don’t frown, sneer or jeer, I have done my fair share of pro bono work and suffered countless internship sessions in all aspects of my life- it’s time to reap reap reap!

The other thing- revenge is a dish best served cold- I hardly ever get mad these; but I almost always get freakishly even.

I like

  • intelligent conversation,

  • a witty tongue,

  • a good hearty laugh,

  • a good argument…

cant stand

  • condescension,

  • ‘youthful’ know-it-alls (please note the quotation marks),

  • bad liars; for I do have a healthy respect for good ones; getting played rarely happens, but when it does- reality cheque (pun intended), a stronger opponent makes my game better.

Me I

  • tire easily, I

  • need the mystery, or

  • a sharper mind, or

  • a well read being, or

  • widely traveled being;

I may drop off your radar from time to time, but I never discard what I like, then again, can’t leave on bread alone… yawn! yawn!

As I check into my thirties, you will probably think me decadent- it’s just a perception, it is time to indulge myself, and I shall do it in the same way a cat languorously stretches itself in its idyllic regal slumber… I finally, actually love me, for me, being me.

Here’s to the wicked thirties!

Happens next year!