fiddle dee

She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes In shape no bigger than an agate stone i know i know... mercutio was talking about me

Friday, October 30, 2009

The Year of the West African- May the Day Break!

I am walking home from wherever, and he stops in his shorts, and I think to myself you have an uncanny resemblance to M, is it the forehead, or the nose that should have it’s own head coming at you (see deer in headlights).
He inquires on whether I would like to get my friends together as he does a whole exercise regime… I think good idea, but that is part of the reason I like my hoodies, trackies, vests and sandals- still is a good idea… dressing up the thought of working out, right?

So you have been seeing me around, huh? and I drift off grinning inwardly thinking to myself I still got it!’ Then I realise he probably has the same thoughts that wear you out when you see someone extremely overweight and obese. They shuffle, or waddle along, huffing and sweating up a storm, and making a show out of every movement made…. Even the smiles disappears the eyes (see moon face)
Then I think “… oh oh, surely I don’t look that, as you steal a hopeful glance -tummy tucked in, head up, shoulders back - at the nearest reflective surface *sigh* thank God!... it’s not as bad-

I figure ‘fuck it and fuck you…’ and go ahead with my passive aggressive routine and say… “I will ask around… oh, and well done, thank you for working” while actually my eyes are saying… kiss my big wide arse, aint working out with you.

Fast forward to friend in hospital… she was in a road accident- never good is it? She in pain, due for operation, boyfriend equally banged up- they made an odd banged up, couple… so I jump in, coz I have some free time on me…. And enter Liberian boy, who hovers. I could barely understand his Creole-wanna-be-American accent at the beginning, but his love for clothes with designer labels conspicuously placed, kind of took me back to college, when we had our wardrobes pledge their loyalty to karl kani, D&G, Versace, South Pole, Nike, ADIDAS…. (soma label).
Then got to practice my modest French on him, and giggled like school kids each time we literally stole away to have a quick smoke, away from disapproving eyes.

…and the feeling wore off as quickly as it came.
On to Benin…
*cue soundtrack -kidjo’s wambolombo*
il s’appelle Josef, but he insisted on Joseph. Aside from the fact that he was ruder francophone than phony Anglophone… And I thought ‘if it helps you sleep at night, and doesn’t change the price of beans… Joseph it is.

*Disclaimer*… I guess he checked in when I was going through the periodical i-need-a-change-moment.
So when he did the handshake and I thought to myself ‘what rough hands you have’ (literally *rasp rasp*… then he began talking, and hurling his ‘intellect’ out there, and bragging about what books he has read… and what you should read, then moves on to Plato, rubbishes Microsoft, and bellows Mackintosh praises, and annoys/irritates the hell out of not-so-sober me… I did the thing, you know, exited!

To cut a long story short… hooked up severally after that (have a thing for guys with bad attitudes- I know *eye roll*!), almost did the dirty deed(details are hazy) then I said something wrong and then… seriously, don’t ask!!!

Going down to Jinja with ol’ friend and Nigerian boy… that should be an interesting one- He is so authentic, it’s like having your own live Nollywood movie- and you are a lead!

On second thoughts… I hereby declare the year of the West African ended.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


I worry I don’t feel as deeply as I should

Don’t rage as passionately as I used to

Hurt so deep, I think I will never come out

Blush so red and embarrass so easy,

I don’t feel, believe, relive, as hard anymore

Everything’s so flip, or an obscure regret at worst,

curiosity’s down to but an occasional tic

I fear my mind is calloused and my heart far from tenderized,

emotions are practiced, those alien - highly unlikely!- dumped casually into the recycle bin

So if I don’t rage, nor worry, believe nor feel … then why am I afraid...?

Monday, October 12, 2009

Timely Drama!!

I am chilling watching E!tv, reading (ish) a self- help book on what women need to know about men (more baloney?...) a typical day for superficial ol’ me… gauging on the absolute uselessness that we ladies love to devour. This is my official ‘i-am-recharging- for- the- week’ moment
As I drag my eyes from the tv screen to the book… my concentration saunters over to M; the boyish frown in concentration, pawing over some glossy magazine or the other, right on top of laptop, with i-pod cast to one side… I smile, I guess it’s true, multi-tasking is a bit much to ask of a man, or is it?
I lean over and holler, “are the tag heures here yet?” In an attempt to rouse interest in some of his toys; which I tend to find fascinating, but only allowed access to a relatively tired and discarded hand-me- down,. I wonder when I will get the time piece on his hand, I have so coveted for such a long time, I have to like have 3 confession sessions of the same sin... ("forgive me father, for i ask not forgiveness for the sin I am about to reveal to you... hehe")

If it had happened as described above, the response would have made sense

“They haven’t come yet. Only Rose Gold Guess Collection glass broken :-(”

But that is not how it happened is it?
It was recharging, then message about tag heures to M, and more baloney, a movie, flip to big brother “snore snore” back to movie… and etc then incoming message *nokia beep beep*
“They haven’t come yet. Only Rose Gold Guess Collection glass broken :-(”

… work myself into mood of sorts, and paint at least 4 different case scenarios,” it must have been sent to the wrong number!”

Alas it wasn’t… *sigh* not enough drama in my life… I guess I am not a professional bummer after all.
Monday… back to the’ chaos’ I have come to embrace…

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Darkest of AFRICA

I cant belive at one point in my not so long lifetime I earned a miserly hundred dollars and felt like the richest girl on earth.

Then I dreamed of the time when they would pay me double triple, maybe in Euros... it doesnt hurt to dream a little does it? considering when watching this non-descript movie about the workings of genecide in Bosnia and how the world's police dogs looked the other way, and we watched in fascination, these caucasians butcher the other over ... what was it? religion?... we didnt get it, it's not like they had been colonised before, or had to forsake their rich mother tongue, for an ishy language, and werent told that their way of dealing with the supernatural was devilish and demonic and repent thy ways, or there is only one God and his name is....(fill the blank.

What made these caucasian blode haired blue- eyed, dark haired, exotic looking eyes butcher the other... I mean they did look a like- and we went on watching the movie... in between conversations, engaging moments in movie, dreadfully boring white scenes of cold...etc then it happened... "what?" - "WHAT!?" we thought and yelled (it matters not with my buds, they think it they yell it, you hear it, they inform you it was a thought... then you kinda have to deal with ... that! if it offended you... it was a thought, you cant fault me for thinking can you?)

where was i...ah yes. "WHAT?"- and this is a true story... not the movie, us reacting to the movie whose name has been blanked from our minds.

a rebel leader threatens to send one of the his 'boys' to "darkest of africa" and we chuckle... yeah there's some daaaark in Africa... and he specifies destination " Uganda"


The rest is a bunch of girls making noise at a tv set and dvd, and gesticulating menacingly at picture now (on pause)on screen... the demanding a replay, to make more noise sneeringly.

A completely good reason for a boozy bitchy session.

Oh by this time we are earning way over three times the 100 dollar salary... we wear more expensive clothes (they're now new) have a gazillion pairs of shoes, drive to wherever- down the road for a pint of milk- cause you dont want to dirty your freshly manicured feet- and feel nothing like the richest girls we thought we would feel like.

Clearly we lost the plot... thinking now- if I can make.... no, just need to live within my means...

heheheheheh , I know, I know.... hehehehehehe seriously.... heheheheheheheeeeee

ok... tee hee

Monday, October 05, 2009


Clearly, I have many strengths... and one that is ranking real high is inconsistency. I am consistently inconsistent, and when this is broken, I find myself lost.

So, is lissing a creature of habit... yep, just weird ones.

Let's work on this new binge... let's see how long it lasts.

and we're out!