to have or not to have

A drinking bud asked me a totally out of the blue, at a tangent, I mean a where-the-fuck-do-you-get-off-asking-me-that kind of question.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

and I lied gracefully and glibly…”yes…” with a totally straight face… yes, I lied! After a total declaration of my independence, and graceful justifying my comfort in my not very conventional behaviour, I went straight out and lied.

Honestly, coming from this society, just to keep away lechers, and opportunists, scum bags who figure a girl over a certain age is definitely dying for it (sex that is) and will be eternally grateful to a pity shag from them; it also helps calm chick’s nerves, they don’t feel the need to cluck over their partners- let’s just say, I skip quite a bit of the crap this way.

But as soon as I said it, I almost laughed, ok I actually let out a giggle (old habits), he didn’t quite get it, I guess he figured it is a chick thing. Anyway, I giggled because, my ‘boyfriend’ is actually a combination of several guys I like- you know, exes, prospectives, coulda happens and will never happens. So basically, you never could figure him out.

I know, you going to say I have issues, well I do- commitment, attachment, and several ‘-ment’ issues, we all do- if in denial you are way ahead of those who haven’t figured it out they have or their issues.

Like for example, my biological clock should be ticking, but honestly, I am not in any hurry; ‘never given birth’ is a good enough status for me. While others view kids as continuing their lines- some twisted sort conspiracy-immortality, or a step in nature’s process, like menstruation and menopause- I honestly don’t dislike kids, just view them as pets.

They are cute, they learn (I taught, once upon a time) and you see progress, they tell interesting tales, they are cuddly and can do the sweetest things- that’s all good, but I aint doing the 24hr rest of my breathing life thingie- that’s asking for too much!!

With those few words, I say is there any divorcee who doesn’t need a second set of kids, has a life, is intelligent, funny and incredibly fantastic in bed (if you can show growing potential case will be considered) - a love for literature, music and spontaneity is a definite plus… oh by the way- yes, money is a prerequisite… who am I kidding, give me a call in my next life then!

Honestly speaking, I am easy to please… NOT!