fiddle dee

She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes In shape no bigger than an agate stone i know i know... mercutio was talking about me

Saturday, January 26, 2008

BITCH!!

I was going home and thought it weird (even in a drunken kinda way), I kept bumping into her each time I got home from the pub

She would pretend not to be staring at me, then amble silently behind me, closer each time… spooky yeah?

Then one day, she threw caution to the wind and charged right at me, all I could think is “shit!!”- that’s the most I could come up with considering my most inconvenient heels that gave me five inches that came in handy during my ‘this-is-THE-kick-ass-campaign’ pitch earlier on that day, bulky handbag, cigarette in one hand and phone in the other- mid ‘drunk smsing’, I wasn’t about to start sprinting… so I did what I had learnt from my earlier toddler days closed my eyes, held my breath and stood real still, if I cant see her then I am not here, right?...

… what seemed like an eternity later, I opened my eyes and she was seated right in front of me staring with this quizzical look on her face; so I did the next logical thing, now that I was invisible I could try tip toe (try that in high heels) to my door, about 50 metres away. And she figured all is weird but good (considering she only appeared when I was intoxicated) and she got on to wagging her tail, and proceeded to sniff her introduction to me while nudging bulky handbag with head…

Drunken “ooooooooh….”

She then scampered off and came with a brood/litter of puppies… I was taken! And there started my odd love affair with Mandy the bitch!

She was soon lounging in front of my door after the watchmen around the flats had sold off the puppies, getting me to change my pants every other morning as she soiled them gleefully with her muddy paws… and fancied this the highlight of her day.

She almost burst with excitement when I took to jogging around the block several times… I was a woman after her heart… as she ran back and forth.

She never learnt how to catch or fetch.... whatever…. Or just assumed that I was trying to exercise when I threw a stick, she dutifully walked me to the stick each time and grabbed it out of my hand like she wanted to ‘throw’ while I ‘fetched’.

She knew that I couldn’t stand the kids back from school congregating outside my block to play and talk at volume 30… so she rounded up all the rest, and convinced them to pet her and chase her up and down right outside my flat raising their volumes to 50!

When Ramu passed on, she sat quietly as I sobbed into the night, trying to hold a sad expression, and hoping that I might decide to go jogging at 3am in the morning...

Life's a bitch and then one adopts you!

8 Comments:

Blogger DeTamble said...

that's cute. is it true? I think I remember reading something about a Ramu? Do I remember that or am I just making it up in my insane brain?
who is the dog?

4:56 AM  
Blogger lissingmink said...

you're quite right... Ramu was a really good friend who passed on- was really upset.

it is a true story... Mandy my Bitch

10:32 AM  
Blogger DeTamble said...

so has Mandy your Bitch got fleas? What she look like?

Do guys there really do that palm rub thing when you shake hands with them? I've heard of that but I thought it was a bit of an old wives tale. THEY REALLY DO THAT?!?!?!?! That's just fucked. I did that to my bf once but as a total joke and he's like wtf are you doing DeTamble? he'd never even heard of it. so is it Ugandan guys who do that or is it just Kampala guys? or is it widespread over the entire continent?

4:53 PM  
Blogger lissingmink said...

yes they do that!! but incidences are far and in between- I guess it is an african thingie- mybe for lack of a better way to communicate.... it's invasive, the nuance disgusting and above all annoying!

10:59 AM  
Blogger kissyfur said...

You kinda remind me of somebody......

3:05 AM  
Blogger DeTamble said...

You lost?

2:35 AM  
Blogger geisha said...

cute, you and your bitch.

3:05 PM  
Blogger leos child said...

reminds me of my cooper who got bitten by a snake and died.desperately miss cooperlingo.

5:43 AM  

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