-holism

hi, I’m Lissing and I am uuuuh….

I seem to have gone through the whole of my life in one way…. You want it, get it, gorge it, dump it and move on!

I will eat the same kind of food at all my meals for a week or two… and then, I am so over that! Coffee is not a food, I keep mine in my medicine cabinet.

I tend to do that with people… but a few have remained constant- but we still alike… we go on the dry and binge period when it comes to communicating… it works- let’s not fuck a good thing!

Was bulimic in my early twenties… binge and gorge… got rid of that eventually- it is hard work being a functional bulimic…

My love life was characterised by crush, weeks of swooning and fitting timetable round boyfriend to I am just not that into you…

Started with programming, moved on to French, thought journalism was definitely the way to go, was called (direct translation) for a BSc degree, moved to Bed (sciences) and settled for Music, studied IMIS to the second level, did my piano, and voice ABRSM exams… get the picture?

Worked as a teacher, moved on to grown ups “I said” and went into marketing… the hassle, into radio, advertising…

Clothes… I will have one look for a month or two or week- then it’s out- I have hordes of pairs of shoes I don’t know what to do with- the moment is passed… but hang onto them, just in case there is a comeback.

I am never comfortable with feeling ok… I like, elated, excited, exhilarated, or morbid, dark and rock bottomy… luke warm’s boring-some use words like clinical depression but I like manic depression…, no I am not maniacal! (I just got out of my ‘closet’- and into a bigger one darn- I aint no Houdini)

Knock on the door. Spooky, why? , It’s 3am-I am waiting out my caffeine induced insomnia; I leave right next to Bat Valley; the owners have long since changed to an wedding venue during high season. TV’s made me dumb- I open the door, and there is this bat hovering… thinking Van Helsing… holy water, cross, silver, stake… I settle for scream and slam door before damn blind flying rat who will never have a rhyme after them checks into home.

Speaking of Van Helsing; books and movies… same thing- sit coms, horrors, classics, remakes, epics, reality tv… annoy everyone around me with incessant and obsessive viewing and reading of one genre of books or movies.

I cant tell you how long I have been dry… it was a gradual wean- relapses occur… don’t blame me- I have no sponsor… with this said

Hi, I am lissingmink and I am a Bingeaholic.

What’s your –holism?