so sick of love songs...

he is leaving... i am trying to figure out what i am feeling.

"what do you find in him, he is soooo annoying, can you believe who she's going to see...? and the usual grumbles and mutterings went on and and on about this new fellow in my life...well, this was the second phone call, I was going to hook up with him...he just drove everyone nuts with anger, irritation or jealousy- "my God" i thought- "he must be like an enigma of sorts- jackpot!". this is just too interesting to pass over; should keep me on my toes.

After the first date...well, it wasnt a date date- but yeah, there was no looking back... the attention was flattering, his arrogance refreshing, his outlook endearing- till the moon came out, and that was it! like the annoying itch that you can reach- then it was just pain... stumped my feet, lashed my toungue, hissed, pulled silent treatment... but always had amnesia of sorts- yeah must have been, why did i keep on going on 'not a date dates'?

settled into genuine camaradarie... enjoying each others company and knowing when to scream "red flag!!" and the other party sounding the retreat... soon lulled into distant camaraderie... and after 3 weeks, "oh hi, ...ok let's hook up" or bump into each other at one pub or the other...and "where u seated ? what you drinking..." pretty cool.

Then silence... 2 months " want to lose at pool?" cant resist a challenge ok a dare; meet old friends laugh, argue, get really really drunk- was a good night... then the question comes "when did you say you were leaving?" he clears throat, and mumbles something about going to take a piss ...i think hell no "you taking the piss!" "what?" he asks- did i say that out loud? i must be pissed..." see you guys; when do YOU leave? "

he is cowering- weird coz he is like really tall- 'in two days"
"cool"
"eeeh.."
what?!!
"miss me?"
"does it make a difference?.. take care, was great.."

phone ringing..." what?" "what do you mean... am I ok...oh you leaving.. no cant see you off, fucking hangover...call, write if you can, bye"

ok, you cannot cry. why, he was a good friend... so, he didnt... doesnt matter!- can someone turn off that goddam radio!

phone again... "jazz tomorrow? baxmba and austrian jazz string quartet..." "ok.. what time?...cool."

we back- yeah, how did you guess? no one likes him either- ...and i aint sick of love songs...lol time to move on.