fiddle dee

penny for your thoughts

2010-12-16T06:15:00.000-08:00

Funny thing about following orders.

All you have to do is do as you are told.
Do it mindlessly and it completely absolves you of any responsibility
...unless you have a conscious.

It has been said that to blindly follow orders is what turns people into monsters or ordinary people into heroes.
It all depends on exactly what the order is.

That's the catch

We are responsible for who we pick to lead or who we chose to follow.
Whether we give orders or take them,
we all contribute to the outcome.

This is what makes all of us responsible.

We must never forget that no matter who is giving the orders or who is taking them, sooner or later we have to answer to a higher power.

introspect by M

Things you may know about me (not)

2010-07-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

I was baptized flora- I really dug 227 then

I have more than 4 surnames, and I don’t like the sound of any of them, so no I will not use them- and if you ask I have 2 names; bite me!

Complicated relationships are my forte- even a good one gets sabotaged by yours truly 

I am a closet nerd- I came out to a larger closet

I like standing out, I need to stand out- how else can I rant and be the diva I am at times

I am big softie- as soft as granite can get 

I am impatient, impertinent (misunderstood) and difficult to please- I usually will do almost anything to get what I want

But I do cry, no, weep at the movies- not delicate sniffles, more like snorting bucketfuls-but then again it is about me ;-)

I like animals, they get me

I am going to stop at 10, because, I have a tendency of giving TMI I like shocking people… I get off it! Tee hee!

Black Sunday

2010-07-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

News trickled in slowly, a hushed unsure whisper, a jarring ringing phone call and the newspaper headlines looked surreal, pictures horrifying- as we all thought of the fun filled memories not too long back at the feisty Kyadondo rugby field; shaking our heads unbelievingly, the horror of it all sunk in slowly- they were here then they weren’t.

There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Now my friends are dead and gone.

Here they talked of revolution.
Here it was they lit the flame.
Here they sang about `tomorrow'
And tomorrow never came.
Oh my friends, my friends forgive me

That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.

Phantom faces at the window.
Phantom shadows on the floor.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me
What your sacrifice was for
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will sing no more.

Les Mes

The Chubb Chubbs

2010-06-30T03:55:00.000-07:00

Nuns held over Marijuana garden

2010-06-24T09:39:00.000-07:00

Jonathan Klein: Photos that changed the world | Video on TED.com

2010-05-07T03:41:00.000-07:00

Jonathan Klein: Photos that changed the world | Video on TED.com

Adieu Adieu to You and You and You!

2009-12-10T03:50:00.000-08:00

I dont think Lissing’s here anymore; in fact I am sure she left about 2 years ago!
How did I not see it?
I will miss her; she was deep, funny and plain weird… she preferred eclectic or quirky- yes, it helped her sleep at night!

I guess I will say lissing’s goodbyes for her, I bet she does miss you all terribly... you may occasionally catch glimpses of her at decadentthirties.wordpress.com

The Year of the West African- May the Day Break!

2009-10-30T00:54:00.000-07:00

I am walking home from wherever, and he stops in his shorts, and I think to myself you have an uncanny resemblance to M, is it the forehead, or the nose that should have it’s own head coming at you (see deer in headlights).
He inquires on whether I would like to get my friends together as he does a whole exercise regime… I think good idea, but that is part of the reason I like my hoodies, trackies, vests and sandals- still is a good idea… dressing up the thought of working out, right?

So you have been seeing me around, huh? and I drift off grinning inwardly thinking to myself I still got it!’ Then I realise he probably has the same thoughts that wear you out when you see someone extremely overweight and obese. They shuffle, or waddle along, huffing and sweating up a storm, and making a show out of every movement made…. Even the smiles disappears the eyes (see moon face)
Then I think “… oh oh, surely I don’t look that, as you steal a hopeful glance -tummy tucked in, head up, shoulders back - at the nearest reflective surface *sigh* thank God!... it’s not as bad-

I figure ‘fuck it and fuck you…’ and go ahead with my passive aggressive routine and say… “I will ask around… oh, and well done, thank you for working” while actually my eyes are saying… kiss my big wide arse, aint working out with you.

Fast forward to friend in hospital… she was in a road accident- never good is it? She in pain, due for operation, boyfriend equally banged up- they made an odd banged up, couple… so I jump in, coz I have some free time on me…. And enter Liberian boy, who hovers. I could barely understand his Creole-wanna-be-American accent at the beginning, but his love for clothes with designer labels conspicuously placed, kind of took me back to college, when we had our wardrobes pledge their loyalty to karl kani, D&G, Versace, South Pole, Nike, ADIDAS…. (soma label).
Then got to practice my modest French on him, and giggled like school kids each time we literally stole away to have a quick smoke, away from disapproving eyes.

…and the feeling wore off as quickly as it came.
On to Benin…
*cue soundtrack -kidjo’s wambolombo*
il s’appelle Josef, but he insisted on Joseph. Aside from the fact that he was ruder francophone than phony Anglophone… And I thought ‘if it helps you sleep at night, and doesn’t change the price of beans… Joseph it is.

*Disclaimer*… I guess he checked in when I was going through the periodical i-need-a-change-moment.
So when he did the handshake and I thought to myself ‘what rough hands you have’ (literally *rasp rasp*… then he began talking, and hurling his ‘intellect’ out there, and bragging about what books he has read… and what you should read, then moves on to Plato, rubbishes Microsoft, and bellows Mackintosh praises, and annoys/irritates the hell out of not-so-sober me… I did the thing, you know, exited!

To cut a long story short… hooked up severally after that (have a thing for guys with bad attitudes- I know *eye roll*!), almost did the dirty deed(details are hazy) then I said something wrong and then… seriously, don’t ask!!!

Going down to Jinja with ol’ friend and Nigerian boy… that should be an interesting one- He is so authentic, it’s like having your own live Nollywood movie- and you are a lead!

On second thoughts… I hereby declare the year of the West African ended.

Jaded

2009-10-13T06:49:00.000-07:00

I worry I don’t feel as deeply as I should

Don’t rage as passionately as I used to

Hurt so deep, I think I will never come out

Blush so red and embarrass so easy,

I don’t feel, believe, relive, as hard anymore

Everything’s so flip, or an obscure regret at worst,

curiosity’s down to but an occasional tic

I fear my mind is calloused and my heart far from tenderized,

emotions are practiced, those alien - highly unlikely!- dumped casually into the recycle bin

So if I don’t rage, nor worry, believe nor feel … then why am I afraid...?

Timely Drama!!

2009-10-12T01:37:00.000-07:00

I am chilling watching E!tv, reading (ish) a self- help book on what women need to know about men (more baloney?...) a typical day for superficial ol’ me… gauging on the absolute uselessness that we ladies love to devour. This is my official ‘i-am-recharging- for- the- week’ moment
As I drag my eyes from the tv screen to the book… my concentration saunters over to M; the boyish frown in concentration, pawing over some glossy magazine or the other, right on top of laptop, with i-pod cast to one side… I smile, I guess it’s true, multi-tasking is a bit much to ask of a man, or is it?
I lean over and holler, “are the tag heures here yet?” In an attempt to rouse interest in some of his toys; which I tend to find fascinating, but only allowed access to a relatively tired and discarded hand-me- down,. I wonder when I will get the time piece on his hand, I have so coveted for such a long time, I have to like have 3 confession sessions of the same sin... ("forgive me father, for i ask not forgiveness for the sin I am about to reveal to you... hehe")

If it had happened as described above, the response would have made sense

“They haven’t come yet. Only Rose Gold Guess Collection glass broken :-(”

But that is not how it happened is it?
It was recharging, then message about tag heures to M, and more baloney, a movie, flip to big brother “snore snore” back to movie… and etc then incoming message *nokia beep beep*
“They haven’t come yet. Only Rose Gold Guess Collection glass broken :-(”

… work myself into mood of sorts, and paint at least 4 different case scenarios,” it must have been sent to the wrong number!”

Alas it wasn’t… *sigh* not enough drama in my life… I guess I am not a professional bummer after all.
Monday… back to the’ chaos’ I have come to embrace…

Darkest of AFRICA

2009-10-06T07:09:00.000-07:00

I cant belive at one point in my not so long lifetime I earned a miserly hundred dollars and felt like the richest girl on earth.

Then I dreamed of the time when they would pay me double triple, maybe in Euros... it doesnt hurt to dream a little does it? considering when watching this non-descript movie about the workings of genecide in Bosnia and how the world's police dogs looked the other way, and we watched in fascination, these caucasians butcher the other over ... what was it? religion?... we didnt get it, it's not like they had been colonised before, or had to forsake their rich mother tongue, for an ishy language, and werent told that their way of dealing with the supernatural was devilish and demonic and repent thy ways, or there is only one God and his name is....(fill the blank.

What made these caucasian blode haired blue- eyed, dark haired, exotic looking eyes butcher the other... I mean they did look a like- and we went on watching the movie... in between conversations, engaging moments in movie, dreadfully boring white scenes of cold...etc then it happened... "what?" - "WHAT!?" we thought and yelled (it matters not with my buds, they think it they yell it, you hear it, they inform you it was a thought... then you kinda have to deal with ... that! if it offended you... it was a thought, you cant fault me for thinking can you?)

where was i...ah yes. "WHAT?"- and this is a true story... not the movie, us reacting to the movie whose name has been blanked from our minds.

a rebel leader threatens to send one of the his 'boys' to "darkest of africa" and we chuckle... yeah there's some daaaark in Africa... and he specifies destination " Uganda"

"OI!!!!"

The rest is a bunch of girls making noise at a tv set and dvd, and gesticulating menacingly at picture now (on pause)on screen... the demanding a replay, to make more noise sneeringly.

A completely good reason for a boozy bitchy session.

Oh by this time we are earning way over three times the 100 dollar salary... we wear more expensive clothes (they're now new) have a gazillion pairs of shoes, drive to wherever- down the road for a pint of milk- cause you dont want to dirty your freshly manicured feet- and feel nothing like the richest girls we thought we would feel like.

Clearly we lost the plot... thinking now- if I can make.... no, just need to live within my means...

heheheheheh , I know, I know.... hehehehehehe seriously.... heheheheheheheeeeee

ok... tee hee

Samson(ite)...

2009-10-05T07:16:00.000-07:00

Clearly, I have many strengths... and one that is ranking real high is inconsistency. I am consistently inconsistent, and when this is broken, I find myself lost.

So, is lissing a creature of habit... yep, just weird ones.

Let's work on this new binge... let's see how long it lasts.

and we're out!

An apparent day three

2009-03-04T06:08:00.000-08:00

So, it's now wednesday, and I have to talk about last night... tsk tsk

I did my thing, got home, made a sandwich, finished reading my weekend papers- (none of the five minute wonders we have for daily newspapers... and the rags that try to write in English)- Ugandan newspapers are the worst... and I am a patriotic person, but we need a general overhaul of writers, maybe it is the readers... let us all boycott newspapers, or better still demand for a particular column only, and pay for just that... or, I digress, so the weekend papers, then I remember the book I was to pick up... something about nice girls never getting the corner office... I guess I have to settle for telly; I switch it on an promptly snooze... I do have sleep arrears.

Two friends , half a heroes and a third episodesof south park later I groggily lift my mass off the sofa and drag my feet to my bed (it is made in heaven!... you just float off to never never land and "ring ring"... and my unwinding was picking it up. someone needed to talk and again, they brought along a drink... I'm I sensing a pattern here? a group of enabling friends... are they real friends (as opposed to imaginary- stupid!)

so yes, I couldnt say no... I sat down groggily and listened to him go and on for an hour before kicking him out of my house and me getting to sleep, two nightcaps later.

Oh it is now end of day today, I really dont feel like a drink, and I hope I have run out of enabling late visiting friends... on to day four.

ps

my cat still thinks it is a dog at times, and loves to play catch.... weirdo!!!

sobriety

2009-03-01T21:21:00.000-08:00

I dont think I am a substance abuser, but the again denial is one of the stages towards admitting an addiction. since it is let, having no clue what lent is about and who is supposed to give back what after this season, the little i understand and get from snippets of conversation it is about giving up something...

so this is my lent... getting off the juice.

day one... still good, i know i have alcohol in the house... wondering if it counts drinking that which was bought much earlier?...

I guess i will keep updating this... Monday, calm before the storm... hope it isnt that windy!!!

Tuesday

about last night, the bottle was still there and the mixer half full right there... then I got home earlier than usual... dum dum dee dum.... tap tap tap, flip channell, flip, flip , flip... calll, surf the net on my phone, flip, dum, tap, dee dum.... argh fuck it... the drink was already there, I didnt go out of my way to get any, it just seats there staring at me with it's half empty puppy eyes... and when was the last time I was here early anyway... live a little lissing, live a little.

that was that... and then the phone call, and buddy drops home, and carries a night cap... dude! I had nothing to do with this, unless you count tipsy sublimnal messages *hehehe* so what the heck... is someone looking for me or what!

so I am writing this today on tuesday, close to twos day... like day two and I am about to get off work... early agin... but this is because some stupid idiot is trying to pull his weight, in the process, losing me 12 hours of valuable production time, which means for real, i will be multitasking tommorow, in between screaming phone calls from different bosses- I juust might need a drink at the thought of this... but nope.. I shall not be moved!

In love actually lust... whatever! it is a good feeling!

day three coming up!!

Phase 2

2009-02-20T01:01:00.000-08:00

About september 2006, I gleefully quit the world of advertising, threw up my hands and yelled that's it... I have had just about enough.... i need to get out before I grab the watchman's rungu and funny looking object he carries around menancingly, in the name of protection; (a gun is it?) and proceed to pound on any head that maks me think baseball practise.

It took several months (literally) to switch off from advertising.... several dozen series from 24, CSI, Rome, how I met your mother, coupling boston legal, vanished etc; many, many novels- that led to the need to create more book shelves; piano; partying promptly followed by hermiting; travelling; catching up with everything that had been put on hold; gyming; cable TV... and then I began to unravel and unwind and finally switch off from the mind functioning like a darn copywriter.

Then landed Zazz, a complete stranger with great ideas, and then took off my first phase of my thirties; event. this was/is great fun.. alot of draining, mind numbing, feet throbbing, red eyed, late nights, but fun nontheless; our fun. We learnt the world of perception, and played it to the fullest; produced big shows; publishd magazines; had great photo and video shoots; sorted through the crowd and hand picked our team; briefed and debriefed; dreamt and executed; laughed and cried; yelled and kept mumb; drew up contracts; learnt to put a price on our expertise... all these on an almost nonexistent budget.- true story!!!

you must be wondering where all this is going.... we getting there- slowly slowly, mos mos, mpola mpola............ and we are here; 2009 and phase two (I assume) of my thirties; want to guess? back again- in advertising, copywriting! Loooooove the brand I am working on, haaaaaaaaaaaaaate the screamers that be my clients, and the emotional extrovert that be my MD, the passive aggressive introvert that be my creative director, the emotionally stunted idiot that be the video editor; the pompous villager dressed up in'town' clothes that uses words like lugubrious and walloped in heavily accented spoken English, and of course, the rest- meaning they dont quite impact on me.

so, today, i am particularly sleepy, and not in the mood for work... so I figured I may be a bit constructive and jot down a little something something on my blogspot. well, at least the information's mine- or so i ignorantly and arogantly think- I just looking for an excuse to say "fuck facebook!" because I can... yes, I can.

oh, and in the process of my very self involved piece about me life and me, me, me, me... I forgot to mention landmark happenings that touched the core of my life philosophy and me; however remote.

I got to stay in a relationship longer than ever- true, mostly due to the fact that it is long distance;- fell in love with the idea of it, got disillusioned, was not surprised but disappointed at him, tried to get off him, hated what I kept bumping into, changed my mind and figured I just might settle, then thought, you know what, a bit busy right now, it'll happen when it happens; was saddened and shaken by the election violence in Kenya; was totally unamused when got a peek at the greed of those with so much aready; acquired a good friend; got to get so much off 'the things I would like to do' list; mentally got several people off their pedestals and realised there are ery few exceptional people; witnessed history as Obama got elected as president... I shall remember the rest....

Let me get back to my crazy world! and soon the events start again, I start my mba while I am still in advertising.

toodles!

been too long...

2008-11-12T05:31:00.000-08:00

then we discovered facebook... and got all excited about it, and met all these people, some remaining as names, blurs, or simple who? and "it was good"

then kinda became the day in day out, not really day to day thingy-ma-bob it had promised to be. so we dumped it... and ta daaa here we are again.

last time it was mandy the bitch... now it is psycho sicko the kitty cat!!

should be back with more... love, lust, comebacks, flashbacks, ups, downs, what-the-fucks? oh and yeah... obama this obama that, everywhere obama obama... Miriam chose a wrong time to the kick the bucket... we didnt here it drop in all the pandemonium about Africa's biggest moment- did I say Africa... i meant the bloody planet earth!!

obviously on fire... burrrrning the pages... will be back!!

toodles

BITCH!!

2008-01-26T09:51:00.000-08:00

I was going home and thought it weird (even in a drunken kinda way), I kept bumping into her each time I got home from the pub

She would pretend not to be staring at me, then amble silently behind me, closer each time… spooky yeah?

Then one day, she threw caution to the wind and charged right at me, all I could think is “shit!!”- that’s the most I could come up with considering my most inconvenient heels that gave me five inches that came in handy during my ‘this-is-THE-kick-ass-campaign’ pitch earlier on that day, bulky handbag, cigarette in one hand and phone in the other- mid ‘drunk smsing’, I wasn’t about to start sprinting… so I did what I had learnt from my earlier toddler days closed my eyes, held my breath and stood real still, if I cant see her then I am not here, right?...

… what seemed like an eternity later, I opened my eyes and she was seated right in front of me staring with this quizzical look on her face; so I did the next logical thing, now that I was invisible I could try tip toe (try that in high heels) to my door, about 50 metres away. And she figured all is weird but good (considering she only appeared when I was intoxicated) and she got on to wagging her tail, and proceeded to sniff her introduction to me while nudging bulky handbag with head…

Drunken “ooooooooh….”

She then scampered off and came with a brood/litter of puppies… I was taken! And there started my odd love affair with Mandy the bitch!

She was soon lounging in front of my door after the watchmen around the flats had sold off the puppies, getting me to change my pants every other morning as she soiled them gleefully with her muddy paws… and fancied this the highlight of her day.

She almost burst with excitement when I took to jogging around the block several times… I was a woman after her heart… as she ran back and forth.

She never learnt how to catch or fetch.... whatever…. Or just assumed that I was trying to exercise when I threw a stick, she dutifully walked me to the stick each time and grabbed it out of my hand like she wanted to ‘throw’ while I ‘fetched’.

She knew that I couldn’t stand the kids back from school congregating outside my block to play and talk at volume 30… so she rounded up all the rest, and convinced them to pet her and chase her up and down right outside my flat raising their volumes to 50!

When Ramu passed on, she sat quietly as I sobbed into the night, trying to hold a sad expression, and hoping that I might decide to go jogging at 3am in the morning...

Life's a bitch and then one adopts you!

another sequel

2008-01-26T08:53:00.000-08:00

There have been some good times, probably more to come

Great thoughts, lots of laughter, heated passion that burns distractedly through time

And dark moments that tear loud

Thoughts e’en transient imprint a smile, however distant

Excitement; digging and comparing treasure and skeletons alike

Admiration, excitement, surprises, darkness, sombreness, pain

Another time and another place

Locks picked; healing whilst others are just not meant to be

Time has come to build some; memories and skeletons alike

I hear, I forget; I write, I remember; I do, I never forget

Cliché is what is boring, but that is probably why it is so

Out of context, that which we seek lives in a timeline, not herein

The strengths we see maybe fading imprints of times past,

The spark and sometimes cackle may threaten to come to life but soon smoulder and nothing but sooty smoke is left

Once upon a time I loved hard, then converse came to pass each and every time; and I will keep on so

Age teaches us the balance in life

Prey and predator always have a place, but two of the same soon part ways

For every action a reaction; good, evil; love, hate and it maybe you, or me

I hate the ordinary words put together… they don’t begin to explain feel

I have these doors in front of me ol’ friend,

The digging’s done; I would like to start building

I open these, but I have to close the other

Mine eyes are weary, my hands are no longer with dirt, my being is itching and ready for go

I still love, I still smile, and reminisce I probably will still have or not

The last song played is ringing in my ears, and for the first time I really got it…

“No, I do not… ok maybe a little”

I end with my beloved semi-colon… it may be shut, but not locked xxx;

the one...

2008-01-23T03:03:00.000-08:00

Sticky First Date....

If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down
when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first
date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date
that a woman ever had.

The winner described her worst first date experience. There was
absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize!

She said it was midwinter... Snowing and quite cold...and the guy had
taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah.

It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and
truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful
until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to
realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the
middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she
did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a
point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside
the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her
pants down and started.

In the deep snow, she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest
against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and
indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could
think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing
nature of the situation.

Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks
were firmly glued against the car's fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she
attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off" and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater
and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with
a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her
chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal.

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first
place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip
his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in
laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that
should be "pants down." And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno's comment...
"This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off."

Oh, and how did the first date turn out?

He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

Cest mon ami??

2008-01-17T10:01:00.000-08:00

I cannot use his real name… Kampala is too small a town and the world seems to be converging towards one centre… like a black hole of sorts- it must be the shrinking poles… think drowning polar bears and mating penguins… north and south poles…any other thought qualifies for a not so happy one month in this new year! So I shall pick Claude.

My very first introduction to Claude was as a pawn being rammed down his throat by his CD. His uninterested jaded outlook gave way to a distant gleam that was fully matured to the full tale tell signs of a amateur poker player with aces… oh dear, I really did push it this time- this wasn’t the deep end, more like we’re in the dark waters darling, think astronomy, astrology or whichever noun you think will get to shore if the sharks, or unfriendly giant jelly fish, no- sting rays don’t get you first. Then again, if you cant swim- might as well drink up and drown as fast as possible.

Now I may tickle your fancy or bore you to death with the details of the relationship I had with him…. But don’t want to send you to sleep so early in the year- let’s just say, that was a proper introduction to the bitchy world of advertising that I still so love; loved; still love. Work and the additional perks (look at package)

So several years later on the eve of 2008 we hook up again- Chinese dinner, lining our alarmingly thinning stomach walls, or whatever shock therapy all the articles and books say about fueling up before drinking… and we picked up the thread of thought from… uuuh who cares when.

After five minutes of initial bunter- what have you dropped, picked up… I noticed and he says meet Laura. Who is quick to mention how the first trimester’s a bitch… hmmm. Once again fast forward… dinner, fireworks, pub, cab, home… the after party? Yep- breakfast and still yipping on… crash out at various uncomfortable positions guaranteeing a mammoth hangover.

Up at lunch time; hair of a dog; more yik yak… and when the clock struck 3.34… zip- we were done… and as I reflected in not so comfortable silence, in between throwing morsels of conversation at girlfriend I realised… all we did was recap talk, and recap bitch, and recap gossip and recap recap… stop thinking Lissing, go with the moment...going gone

Time to go home. Happy new year… should do this again.

No- we never did shag!

"hisssssss" said the fiery snake.....

2008-01-14T01:57:00.000-08:00

lissssssst of things to do this year... #15 have a tarrot card reading

and in this context and general spirit (spirit haha!!) I figure I may as well check out my chinese horoscope.

I was born in the year of the snake; I am a fire snake- ssssssssso far ssssssso good; I read on...

Snakes are very creative and extremely diligent.
nicsssssssse! Very true!!

They’re excellent problem-solvers and thrive under tight deadlines.

can this pass as a reference letter- surely it has some merit!!

Good career choices for Snakes include: scientist, analyst, investigator, painter, potter, jeweler, astrologer, magician, dietician, and sociologist.

hmmmm...I have a choice between Einstein, Sherlock Holmes, Aitkin, Harry Potter, the flippin analyst and bleeing houdini!!

well, I dont care what you say, I aint fucking CHINESE!!

*mental note... tarrot card reader should not be of chinese origin!!!! wait wait.... apparently there's some more

Fire Snakes are more extroverted, forever offering opinions and telling others what’s on their minds

SSSSSSSSSSSSSS SHUT UP!!

-holism

2008-01-07T01:19:00.000-08:00

hi, I’m Lissing and I am uuuuh….

I seem to have gone through the whole of my life in one way…. You want it, get it, gorge it, dump it and move on!

I will eat the same kind of food at all my meals for a week or two… and then, I am so over that! Coffee is not a food, I keep mine in my medicine cabinet.

I tend to do that with people… but a few have remained constant- but we still alike… we go on the dry and binge period when it comes to communicating… it works- let’s not fuck a good thing!

Was bulimic in my early twenties… binge and gorge… got rid of that eventually- it is hard work being a functional bulimic…

My love life was characterised by crush, weeks of swooning and fitting timetable round boyfriend to I am just not ~~that~~ into you…

Started with programming, moved on to French, thought journalism was definitely the way to go, was called (direct translation) for a BSc degree, moved to Bed (sciences) and settled for Music, studied IMIS to the second level, did my piano, and voice ABRSM exams… get the picture?

Worked as a teacher, moved on to grown ups “I said” and went into marketing… the hassle, into radio, advertising…

Clothes… I will have one look for a month or two or week- then it’s out- I have hordes of pairs of shoes I don’t know what to do with- the moment is passed… but hang onto them, just in case there is a comeback.

I am never comfortable with feeling ok… I like, elated, excited, exhilarated, or morbid, dark and rock bottomy… luke warm’s boring-some use words like clinical depression but I like manic depression…, no I am not maniacal! (I just got out of my ‘closet’- and into a bigger one darn- I aint no Houdini)

Knock on the door. Spooky, why? , It’s 3am-I am waiting out my caffeine induced insomnia; I leave right next to Bat Valley; the owners have long since changed to an wedding venue during high season. TV’s made me dumb- I open the door, and there is this bat hovering… thinking Van Helsing… holy water, cross, silver, stake… I settle for scream and slam door before damn blind flying rat who will never have a rhyme after them checks into home.

Speaking of Van Helsing; books and movies… same thing- sit coms, horrors, classics, remakes, epics, reality tv… annoy everyone around me with incessant and obsessive viewing and reading of one genre of books or movies.

I cant tell you how long I have been dry… it was a gradual wean- relapses occur… don’t blame me- I have no sponsor… with this said

Hi, I am lissingmink and I am a Bingeaholic.

What’s your –holism?

You spraken?

2008-01-07T01:14:00.000-08:00

Joey in the sitcom, friends- cracking me up… the ‘Joey learns French’ episode (if you got that you are a chick, gay, or still confused about your sexuality). Frenching up the English language as he goes on. “le fleuff!”- whatever that meant.

I want to do that too! I’ve got the Chinese accent down to a Tee- the Indian one always gets me into trouble with Indian business associates, especially when you take the mimicking the body language to portray absolute attention, taking it to the next level- if you don’t speak it, fake accent it!

Anyone want to join the club over a drink and we can French, Chinese, Indian, Zulu it for thirty minutes. It would be good fun;

Rules

there will be no incessant giggling,

topics will be mailed to you a week before rendezvous to allow ample practise in body and language mannerisms.

invite dates to come pick you up at the end of the thirty minute session

advanced class syllabus will include frenching it in bed

RSVP to LM @ comment box!

Le bujoli gelsamble!- French it!!

Annoying...

2007-11-05T06:11:00.001-08:00

you are having lunch; you must be famished... now why you banging the plate, each time you scoop some food... you an efiing judge? It is not a GAVEL!!

I can not be accountable for my balled up fist right now- it is conditioned to swinging at any slurping sounds followed by resonating thuds on the table as you place your glass down- you aint an effing judge brah!!

Now frigging Adam (it is his real name) you only seem to have one comment to make each and every time I bump into you "you putting on weight girl..." I can think of reasons why you say this
1. your roundedness develops a virtual waist line of sorts
2. you figure I will be motivated to do those extra reps in the gym
3. I will like you more for your blatant honesty
oh Adam, you ar brilliant!

... so you actually figure an SMS qualifies for a bootycall - night cap?
as I jog around your vastness in an attempt to locate your ear

"mother fucker!"

OMG you must be the brightest mind on earth ... what is that you studied... econometrics, no, statistics... you a lawyer? right ow, I wouldnt care if you were fucking einstein- what's that got to do with the price of beans?

Oi you... yes you- bitch! you sure can put people down... lose the fucking halo when it is time to make decisions and for cripes sake- grow some fucking cajones!!

PMS!!!

typical...!

2007-10-17T03:07:00.000-07:00

WIFE'S DIARY
Sunday night - I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love u, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV; he seemed distant and absent.

Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.

My life is a disaster.

HUSBAND's DIARY
Today Manchester United lost the match. DAMN IT..!!

Once upon a time

2007-10-13T02:25:00.000-07:00

Our eyes met and like unlike Puzo’s mention there was a distant rumble

An indication of things to come?

I had just spotted my fahrenheight (see scent)in amounts I can afford;
Brought to me by a friend who doesn’t need to hoard; the attendant made a show of informing me it was a male scent- I think to my self, how silly, blissful in your ignorance- in this case indifference- as la femme would be seated on her nose, if she could step off the display that is- I don’t rise to the occasion and think ahead to our preferred destination.

Sandals aren’t a bright idea in the aftermath of heavy downpour- we click clack and giggle as we try to make our way through the muddy streets (see Kampala drainage) not unlike school girls- the atmosphere around us is festive, I would swear on possession by a carnival spirit- whistles, speed, boda bodas and by God a moped too(very white?)! An enthusiastic show of patriotism; flags made in China for Uganda- t-shirts with the clumsy crane aflight- three one we won, Niger didn’t- we are on top of our footie even if for a moment.

Then the distant rumbling- as we amble down Kampala road, those eyes in grandfather glasses dart furtively, the body language wary, the hunted,- strayed into the wrong territory, ears all a twitch; he don’t belong here- “what is going on?”
“We won the match” we chimed, noting the foreign accent and placing it

We set ourselves up; we shouldn’t have asked. He clung onto us like his life depended on it- as we watched the unfolding with a lot of bemusement; the traffic policeman’s whistle being drowned by tens of scores of others as they negotiated without fear of being apprehended- we all were celebrating.

The policeman was probably relieved that he didn’t have to identify the enemy; though it had been a long while since he fit into his funky riot uniform, and wielded his gear- it gave him his proper place even if for a few hours; police and robbers all over again… sigh. He smiles and waves everybody through.

Mr. Furtive eyes will not stop talking- I look at Eve- she has ‘lengared’! he doesn’t exist- now I am stuck with bugger! I avoid eye contact- was kinda easy- he was brief, and alas suffered from the inevitable SMS (short man syndrome!)- It was a bit hard ignoring the fidgeting and rise in vocal volume levels, so decided to do a quick dart and look away (politeness sake)- BIG mistake- that seemed to convey acceptance and camaraderie.

We finally get to Dominoes and send out all the right departure signals- grinding to a stop, sighing and “so… it was nice..”
He blinks in apparent incomprehension and as eyes look away, they widen as he supposedly spots dominoes- “let us have a drink or pizza” like it was the most original, authentic, never been thought of idea.
Let’s just say he imposed himself on ‘our’ time, bored us to death with his stereotypes (he had only been to Tanzania once, and this was second visit to Uganda) on all east African countries, horrid chewing (Eve is staring with amused fascination- it’s now top on her mimick list- she’s pretty good with things like that) and he tries to pull the going to the loo when the bill arrived! He had another thing coming… not in K’la, brah! - this was one bill I would require him to pay for my listening-to-a-lot-of- garbage-from-a-annoying-clingy-short-man consultation fee.
As we part our ways,Eve talking to her ‘constituents’ (I swear she knows the whole town!) he turns to me and “why don’t you take your friend home and come back and have a drink in my room with me?”

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!

Per Second Billing... hahaha

2007-09-21T00:57:00.000-07:00

For all the single brothers and sisters shopping for one... please do not buy what you dont need.

Leading lady

2007-09-18T06:58:00.000-07:00

2007 came with a lot-the most worrying; writer’s bloc! or so I thought.

You figure that may be that life had slowed down and finally ground to a halt? Au contraire! Major rants and raves, and shifting philosophies of life, celebrating achievements, dealing with losses with my infamous pity parties (anyone need consultation? you can afford it- for now!), in and out and back in love again- I should have been on a major blog-a-thorn, right? Wrong!

Like a true case of manic depression, after the mania (in every possible description of the term) that lasted about a year, came the huge dip- what an anti climax! With all the goals (that I now realize were short term) accomplished, and to-do list ticked off… eeeh, came a huge deepening, gnawing feeling of “NEXT!”

Then as a ‘in small doses’ drinking bud (should come in minuscule-microscopic-cannot-be-seen amounts!) went into a self-righteous lecture (on my account!) about selling oneself short blah blah blah and blah di blah blaaah- something snapped.

Let’s just say I realised 2 is no longer my lucky number, I am liking the limelight, stray puppies/dogs/bitches have used up their quota and I am the lead instrument in this symphony.

It wasn’t bloc- the language had changed and I hadn’t realised it, the two step had flipped to a waltz and the person I thought I knew was but a fading image I couldn’t capture on paper no more. True, I love my archives, and a lot of what I read is nothing more than a fleeting moment of déjà vous- true story!

Meet the leading act… she does love the sound of applause!

Has the moon lost her memory… she is smiling alone

2007-08-27T10:23:00.000-07:00

I have been on a mind blog roll -really, story after anecdote and poem- yeah the thought (in this case, numerous) counts (count?); my writing sister finally got out of her lull, so let’s get these thoughts on paper before she lapses again! BTW we call it a paper trail now, wonder what it will be called two generations from now, when paper will be an endangered species!

I remember when…

I was a last born like forever, then came two boys hailing the demise of my reign and enter the boys and feline reign- so naturally the six year old ventured deeper into the bigger world that was begging for my leadership skills. After living in the suburbs (see smaller towns outside the major capital) for a while, there was a brief stint in the city estates- one word- heaven! I no longer had to wander for ages before bumping into another playmate in the general age group- they were all over the place! There were so many walls to climb, streets to discover and of course gangs to lead!

Mum was really getting on my nerves, she now wanted to have me haul my weight around and carry luggage, and yes, there was the “watch your brothers”, only yesterday it was unheard of, I was the baby girl, everything evolved around me! (When I grow up…); I patiently carried out my duties, dreaming of the next day. I swear the batteries in that clock were down! It really took it’s time (get it- clock taking it’s time)- but I soldiered on… gazing longingly at the kids downstairs having the time of their lives- they didn’t know what fun was, it was spelt ME!

It’s finally here. Oh boy, oh boy I could barely contain myself- I forced breakfast down my throat and waited patiently for everybody to finish, said my thank you and carried the dishes to the sink- this was of utmost importance; couldn’t afford getting grounded, there were people out there who desperately needed my guidance. I showed mummy my washed hands, and informed her I had wiped the floor after my bath, and made my bed; then batted my eyelids coyly, and asked if I could take my bicycle outside for a bit “please mum, please- I will be very careful”.

Home free, I grabbed my red Raleigh bike and hit the streets. Game plan, cruise round the ‘block’, select the most worthy crowd, and rule my kingdom. Before I got halfway through, one of the boys on his bike swooped by on his bmx, with a knowing grin of a superior rider- he had another thing coming! My legs pumped as hard as they could, and caught up with him as he got to the corner- shoulder by shoulder we rode, now in full view of his buddies, I got off my seat and gave it my all- there was a lot of cheering… subjects welcoming their queen!

I know- take overs were so much easier then!

Double woof

As I gazed into those soulful eyes, I was lost- and with a little wimper he scampered towards me with an adorable clumsy scuffle on his seemingly oversized coffee coloured paws against his shiny black coat. “ooooh what’s his name?” “Bingo” what kind of name is that?! Anyway, the owner was probably paying off a gambling debt with the money being handed over. No matter- I was in love.

He spent his summer mornings patiently waiting for the gardener to sweep all leaves and twigs into one heap, before he embarked on his calling that summer with such gusto and glee; scattering the leaves to as many corners as possible, yes with Kopano hot on his heels, cursing in several languages, that would have any sailor turn red in the face. He only gave up when he realized that Kopano had a fearful weapon that would cause irreparable damage- the hose pipe gushing out water! Frightful- I am talking nightmare on Doggie Street scary! He then resorted to chasing after his own tail for minutes on end, and altering it with barking- adolescence came with the breaking of his voice- must keep practicing, how about looking for a hole in the fence, nothing; it’s easier to dig- wait a minute, what is that? (your tail dumb dumb) come here, oi!; feeling dizzy… let’s try that barking again… ooooh there’s the thing, (the hose pipe) the horrible thing that will annihilate my existence, I should put my vicious bark to test- wait, I think it is asleep, maybe I should maul it to death! Here comes Kopano- he really needs to learn how to speak, he is probably inviting me to spread the leaves across the lawn for him- I love this guy!

Bingo would never have made a watch dog, all he thought when he saw people was, pat on the head, pat on the head, belly rub- thank you Lord for creating these useful beings! Though, this thought process was not shared by those standing at the gate cowering, at the huge German shepherd bearing down at them with that adorable sideway gait that left many wondering if he was cross eyed.

He was supposed to have been trained, but he learnt all the rules to break them- He knew what I was saying but couldn’t be bothered to get off the couch when guests came in, his ability to whine pitifully for ages right outside my window when I was trying to get my beauty sleep earned him a sleeping rag in my leaving room; his walks always lasted an hour longer; as he got deaf when it was time get his lid back on; and every reprimand dissolved when he gazed up with those loving soulful eyes- I never got the chewing of one particular pair of sneakers… he learnt how to stand perfectly still when being washed and waiting for the opportune moment to shake water onto whomever felt his coat need to shine a little bit more.

One thing’s for sure, He gave all dogs a good name (you know it!).

Clearing the cobwebs

Life right after campus seemed to be one long party! No responsibilities (well very few), a job that was bringing in money- Party! Party! Party!

My favorite hangovers (then) happened every fortnight- sounds like an oxymoron right?

A few months ago, was coming from one of those meetings that I would have been glad to miss- especially when you have two schools of thought going on; old and new. I digress, walking out of the Sheraton, and Judy is telling the same ol’ lame joke all wrong- it isn’t funny, all I can hear is my bed calling, then, a glimpse from the past, that forehead is …-no, I must be really tired- then the face smiled, that’s weird, I haven’t changed my dealer, wait, I don’t have a dealer- and right there was Tom- what you doing in my country? He says his working… and sees my blank expression, and reminds me that he is a medical doctor- oh right, I totally forgot.

For a moment we were back at Hotel County, where come rain or shine (literally) doing what we loved to best- drinking came a close second- playing jazz music (minds out of the gutter!)

The repertoire as diverse, but the favorites took prevalence. Tom is a brilliant trumpeter- I was always baffled by the versatility of his playing and wondered how he made the three knobs of the trumpet produce so many sounds- he said it was all in the lips- hmmm… too bad he was taken. Other greats included Tony- one man band, Mwangi who would have made you swear that sex came in second to the lead guitar , Njane and his bro outdid themselves on the woodwinds (show offs!), George who took drum solos to a different level- and allowed me to play during his breaks(eternally grateful)- the songbirds Juliet, David, Cindy, and anyone else who wanted to try it out., Chris was ok (he is a star today- really, I listened to him at the end of last year, amazing) regaling us with his alto sax- let’s not forget George K who checked in too from time to time. And the crowd- Helen, Kevina, the Ndavis, Pato, and many many more that made these inconspicuous Sundays monumental!

This used to be Sunday afternoons, every fortnight- drag myself out of bed, head throbbing, hit the showers, swallowed an overdose of aspirin and made my way to the county- gulped down any cold drink with sugar, ordered the fried goat complete with ugali and kachumbari, and started on the hair of the dog. People from all walks of life with a love for jazz- blissful.

This I dedicate to Antonia, who never made it to a year, and passed on during the playing of ‘misty’, say hi to the angels for me- and to the late James Falkland who allowed us such pleasurable moments that will forever stay with us by allowing us the use of his instruments- and of course, nurturing and polishing theatre genius.

I would do it all over again.

Ode to blue mango

“Let’s hook up at blue mango”

And I was duly informed, they shut down, there was one hell of a farewell party the previous week! I really need to keep up with some of my party life sometimes; then again, it has been non-existent this year! I was going to miss the place- the hotspot zone, the comfy chairs into which you sunk into and never wanted to leave, the coffee, the Sunday brunches- to die for! All gone! Maybe it will open up under new management…

Then about 2 weeks ago, I am passing through Wandegeya, and there is a banner- it was like an accident (you don’t want to look, but you keep looking)- horrible orange colour, irritating font, ridiculous use of space, advertising the ‘hideout’ (Hideous). Must be one of those joints that need to be abolished if we are to follow the ‘stop cross-generational sex’ campaign through to the end. I bet I would bump into an uncle or two there…then, the location, it is the former blue mango… oh joy! I figure, wine in a different glass tastes just as good- call a few friends, we have a plan for tonight.

About the plan- NOT! It so is the hideous…I mean, hideout now.

To be or no be? Is this the right question?

Crossing the ditching all unavailable (married or otherwise engaged) men who seemed to be my forte and fatale from my phone and life bridge, just brought me to another; mates that are recently hitched- purely platonic relationships (ok, that’s not entirely true)- that makes them married men… time isn’t of the essence here.

The opposite sex just always seemed more interesting to me- hanging out and going out- hitting the proverbial 2 birds with one stone. I will probably throw a ‘stag’ bridal shower and have a best man when I get married… okay that’s really stretching it- I am a dreamer; and they do sometimes come true.

Been in Kla for about 4 years, was going through phone book and deleting unnecessary contacts- and got to the recently hitched guys. The questions begin:

1. If I hook up with him and have a good time like we used to (no sex) is he cheating?

2. How often can we hang out? When is it suspicious? Should it stop all together?

3. There are different levels of touching, they draw back? How far back?

4. Then there is the fact that is if you fool around before marriage it is cheating, after, it is adultery- ugh, ugly word!

5. Ok, does this mean in a sick, twisted way are we still a polygamous generation?

The neighbours kids are camped outside my window again- two Somalis, and Indian, a northerner and a munyakole; they are playing some silly game and having a blast shattering my quiet time. *sigh* I grab the basketball and football and walk on outside. *silence* they must think I am the neighbor from hell- I hand over the balls to the puzzled faces- that turn to glee with their recovered treasures, they soon forget I am around- life is so simple;” you want to play?” “ok”

I return to my phone- save the numbers in a different profile- I am not letting my friends go; but I need to know that I am treading different waters.

If it gets more complex than this, looks like I have more than my mBA to pursue!

And to quote the Legend that be called John out of context (ish)- “All I am trying to say is that our love don’t have to change, no, it don’t…”

...here comes another one!

2007-07-03T10:26:00.001-07:00

another who?... deadline!

I remember the time in school with the double lessons and later on, triple lessons after a heavy meal of ugali and the all things heavy- staring listlessy at the clock on the wall, as my drooping head in hand seemed to get heavier, while the lines in my exercise book began to weave around and my eyes a crack open while the continual droning of one teacher or another, dropped pitch and grew more distant as I gave in to the lulling darkness, and sweet adolescent sleep.

"Why doesn't time ever get a move on?!"

Now all I think of day and night (yes, night!) is prioritising- reason, deadlines!

I just need 18 more hours in my day, then I can wonder what to do with all the time given me.

For someone who could have earned a degree in bumming without so much as breaking a sweat- I sure wouldnt have time to apply all that appertains to that degree in my life right now!

fashion, hair, work, man, workout, medicals, bills, nails and drat- time is almost up!

loving this!

2007-07-03T10:04:00.000-07:00

Ran into Eve sometime... and speak of music to my eyes...

http://evesreflections.blogspot.com/2007/06/when-did-rain-start-beating-me.html

Haiya!!

2007-05-30T03:40:00.000-07:00

Listening to Harry Kimani’s "Haiya" brings back loads of memories come flooding in

I grew up in Kikuyu land; post mau mau and pre-underground garages and on to post nyayo.

They were a lovable lot- eccentric in their ways but focused.
I remember my mum’s kyuk boss passing through home on Christmas eve to dropoff some of his farm produce in the Christmas spirit, and what was he driving a Pajero!!!

Now kids don’t get me wrong- but in the nineties this was like the cat's pajamas (always wanted to use that !!)

Kids (basketball team- not bad) scrambled out to stare and marvel at one of the latest Pajero models; mouths agape- and kid brothers absolutely animated…. And then

"Meeeee"

No it couldn’t be- we didn’t keep any goats….

"Meeee"

Yes- right there inside the well carpeted brand new carpet of this brand new paj's boot was a goat- we looked over to Mr Maina- who by the way didn’t look one bit like the amount of money he was worth- his jacket looked like it had been washed in water, hang out in the sun and ironed- it was all lumpy at the seams, with a curious sheen all through- he completed the look with gum boots and crowned it with uncombed kinky african hair!

"I just came from the shamba- and I brought some thing for Christmas"

Yes- literally from the garden, but since the goat- now seriously humping the back seat- wasnt ours it was one of two things it was meant for someone higher up the rung- or from a neighbour competing in generosity.

it is not a stereotype- kyuks tend to be hardworking folk who could make money out of anything- always jolly, loved their drink but always had a firm woman waiting in the wings to reel them back in lest they stray.

I didn’t realize it then- but I do miss the ‘buggers’, their mannerisms, profusely expressive ways that includes pointing the direction of someone of a place with their lower lips, and their willingness to laugh at themselves and others in good humor.

back yo Harry Kimani....

People change???

2007-05-30T03:37:00.000-07:00

The bouncing baby swathed in the wrong colours coz she was supposed to be a he
The speech that seemed so full of question and exclamation marks

The mummy’s girl who believed God saw all- but negotiated terms from time to time
A short eye-opening stint away from home turned the gay extrovert into a hardened introverted pubescent;

Could only move into typical rebellious adolescent, yes?.... wrong! On the contrary
Disenfranchising courtship with religion, turned to cynic realism

Years flew by and the goody two shoes mask erodes; glimpses of another increasing
Is she her father’s daughter or her society’s product?

Change???

Ad libbing

2007-05-30T03:24:00.000-07:00

Making it up with the guidelines of the original script.

I remember my first radio job interview when I was not feeling the vibe and was wondering how long it would take me to transverse across town to insure I still had my what I presumed to be a dead-end job (no I was just bored… another story) and hoped that my excuse would augur well- when the ‘bugger’s’ face lit up- pure glee

B: you have a music background

Lm: Uh huh (you staring at cv)

B: That means you’re creative

Lm: Uh huh (what’s that got to do with me fiddling with the buttons on the machines in your
studio and loving the sound of my voice)

B: (to his self) This is great… mm hmm … (to me) I have a keyboard

Lm: uh huh ( eeeh…I have a pressure cooker)

B: I was thinking of starting a production studio

Lm: Uh huh (I was thinking of bungee jumping)

B:*Silence- with expectant look*

Lm: (alarm) woah… I play 2 or three instruments, but if that is what you mean by creative (I
wasn’t doing no more ‘composition classes’ for a living!)… I applied for presentation

B: (incredulous- indignant) so you lied… the cv is a lie!

Lm: No, I said I played- but I am not here to compose jingles- I would just like to present…

B: But it says you play piano!

Lm: Yes

B: So you play?... Done- you have the job.

That was about the beginning of my ad libbing in Uganda! How? Apart from waking up at ungodly hours to do a morning show- I was stuck in a production studio- and he leaned on me for all my ‘ingenious’ to meself “crap!”

Yes, this is what lissing did, well still tends to do- taking Einstein out of context when he said
“genius is 10 percent talent and 90 per cent work”
and making him fit my generally formulated life philosophy instilled since childhood
“Improve on ur weaknesses”
simple mathematics also seems to elude me (hahaha to clever for my own good).

I actually have taken it to the levels of excelling in my ‘weaknesses’ and around you people thinking what a genius I am (then again I might have missed the sarcasm)- then comes boredom, dissatisfaction and ultimately distraction as I take on a new challenge.

You see the thing about ad libbing is, on it’s own it’s ad-non-sensing it.
So still searching for the original script- got bits and pages of it- I am tired of making it up as I go along- only; I am Director/ Producer of script- will source for more info- the usual culprits- life and bigenderako.

of emotions near extinct

2007-04-20T10:45:00.000-07:00

This would be the point where I would be locked in my room... typing away harshly at my laptop- on more or less auto coz vision is kinda misty- whilst wailing like a wounded animal and alternatingly cursing like a sailor!!!!

but no... nothing

And the girlfriends would run to the rescue with all necessary ingredients for a 'pity' party and major male bashing session under the influence of licit and illicit substances!!

and no... nothing- again

I am like woah! chill girl, get in touch with your inner 'girlie' self... eeeh- "...can not be reached at the moment..."

I bet you are wondering what I am on about- I just got played big time! though, the weird thing is i should have realised this ages ago.... but noooooo- like crack, once tasted; i knew i had to hit it again, and again and again and... catch the drift

honestly, this many hook ups down the road... it is down right embarrasing!!!!!

at the end of the day " he is just not that into you girl"

really? I would have sworn... then again... well, either i am drained of emotion and like in 'les mes' "now life has killed the dream i dreamed"...

OR

... "i just was not that into him"...well There's a newsflash!!!

NEXT!

Kantai can tie a tie

2007-03-29T00:26:00.000-07:00

"I can do that"
After a long while, and dear dear experience- i mean forget 'twice shy' it loses meaning after the umpteenth time- you realise the multiple meaning to the phrase ... for example

people say they can and they cant

people say they can and they wont

people say they can and they keep 'can'ing- eeeh anytime this century...

people say they can because they can and will never admit they can't - so you can... not?

people who say they can and they say they have done it forever (guess) they cant!!

people who say they can... actually they dont, they ask you to ask someone else if they can- hello!- earth to 'i-am-speaking-to-you-d** khead'

people who say they can and keep adding ".... and also that one I can"- cue to scream SHUT UP- "Madam, even.."

Eish...! how is one supposed to sift all through these 'can'ts (pun pun); i think we are in dire need of serious head hunters and/or job agencies... but then again they will also tell they 'can' and you would have to figure which 'can' it is!

Please tell me i am not alone!...

i know- kicking off the year (it is my first) with a rant, lissing style!

The English language

2006-12-18T06:59:00.000-08:00

interesting info someone sent me... i still say it came by ship so you can leaved me a loan of about...

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it English is a stupid language.

There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,Why didn't the preacher praught.
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?Why do people recite at a play, Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways andDrive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as It burns down
And in which you fill in a form By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)
That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watchIt starts
But when I wind up this observation,It ends.

goody two shoes

2006-11-29T09:22:00.000-08:00

What's up with everyone trying to be polite when actually what they mean is:

The presentation sucks;

Was it dark when you dressed up?

The diet coke aint goin to kill the combo order;

Did you hit the socket after combing the hair love?

Kankomewo (sp) etc etc

My point- I had the most productive meeting in the shortest of time, coz he asked the right questions, and made it clear what he wanted- he's a keeper- finally... moving on!

ps
It was all business talk...

player Player!

2006-11-25T10:38:00.000-08:00

My DVD player just feels the need to communicate to me

dvd: no disc... please insert disc

dvd: dirty disc

dvd: cannot play disc

dvd: *silent treatment- more like "no comment"* basically it stares blankly into space like I didnt put it on.

Viewing my predicamnt, I have shelved the bloody thingie and on to other entertaining and probably more constructive activities... ok maybe plural is an -ies too much

Context...Just viewed savage's impeccably clean library...
I have been trying to kick the trashybooks- ok i am a bit deeper than that let's say fiction (shelves of them) and picked up the self-help, constructive kind of book thingie.

I managed 2 pages of the Execution, when got a hold of the infamous Satanic Verses... difficult read; like eh? I mean bad- worse than my abstract writing (there is hope!!); then caught on.

Picked up the execution again; then got Donald Trump's the art of the deal... really nice- think really BIG... one day....

Back to the execution... and in comes one of them hilarious English novelists...

I picked the exec up again... incoming mantra "i can do this!!" and then I conveniently remember "it's been a while since I blogged"

It is a bit difficult to execute the reading of this book, when i havent read the execution, absolutely frustrating!... *tee hee* Feeling proud of my feeble attempt at humor... no, irony- whatever!

I must say though, peoples' looks change into shining admiration and respect when I carry it (Yes, the execution) around (habit- filling the gaps during the day)- I can do this, I will do this, and execute the exec!
since i havent posted any images of moi, you can know what LM looks like now, she is the girl carrying the execution around the streets of kla!

end of post *sigh* back to the execution

ps
project fame

Linda's rendition of bob marley's redemption song was tear jerking, really intense- i actually never really gave the song much thought before- like WOAH!

PAUL IS STILL IN THE HOUSE, PAUL IS STILL IN THE HOUSE!

ok ok... let me read the damn thing!

to have or not to have

2006-11-13T01:03:00.000-08:00

A drinking bud asked me a totally out of the blue, at a tangent, I mean a where-the-fuck-do-you-get-off-asking-me-that kind of question.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

and I lied gracefully and glibly…”yes…” with a totally straight face… yes, I lied! After a total declaration of my independence, and graceful justifying my comfort in my not very conventional behaviour, I went straight out and lied.

Honestly, coming from this society, just to keep away lechers, and opportunists, scum bags who figure a girl over a certain age is definitely dying for it (sex that is) and will be eternally grateful to a pity shag from them; it also helps calm chick’s nerves, they don’t feel the need to cluck over their partners- let’s just say, I skip quite a bit of the crap this way.

But as soon as I said it, I almost laughed, ok I actually let out a giggle (old habits), he didn’t quite get it, I guess he figured it is a chick thing. Anyway, I giggled because, my ‘boyfriend’ is actually a combination of several guys I like- you know, exes, prospectives, coulda happens and will never happens. So basically, you never could figure him out.

I know, you going to say I have issues, well I do- commitment, attachment, and several ‘-ment’ issues, we all do- if in denial you are way ahead of those who haven’t figured it out they have or their issues.

Like for example, my biological clock should be ticking, but honestly, I am not in any hurry; ‘never given birth’ is a good enough status for me. While others view kids as continuing their lines- some twisted sort conspiracy-immortality, or a step in nature’s process, like menstruation and menopause- I honestly don’t dislike kids, just view them as pets.

They are cute, they learn (I taught, once upon a time) and you see progress, they tell interesting tales, they are cuddly and can do the sweetest things- that’s all good, but I aint doing the 24hr rest of my breathing life thingie- that’s asking for too much!!

With those few words, I say is there any divorcee who doesn’t need a second set of kids, has a life, is intelligent, funny and incredibly fantastic in bed (if you can show growing potential case will be considered) - a love for literature, music and spontaneity is a definite plus… oh by the way- yes, money is a prerequisite… who am I kidding, give me a call in my next life then!

Honestly speaking, I am easy to please… NOT!

njagala space!

2006-11-13T00:58:00.000-08:00

getting office space in this K'la of ours

This must be the most annoying, tedious, winding not getting any where task!!

Office equipment, check; favorite coffee mug, check; brilliant mind, with devastatingly good looks to match, check; work that brings in money, check; what is left… oh yeah, office space!!

Get this place in bugos, not bad, just looks right, well, it’s near enough to the main road, we have seen the first room, and the second is locked- a mumble about the landlord, estate manager- knock on door and try to figure the volume in between- sounds hollow enough for board room- sigh, that was easy… now for the final fine details
“Come tomorrow” she says… “No problem”- knackered anyway.

Day two… no landlord slash estate manager, “definitely tomorrow” realize there isn’t any power for second day running; bloody load shedding! Force smile, and move the next day’s appointments.

Day three… she doesn’t look very friendly today, but is able to muster a “hellos” anyway, as she goes back to her katogo- is it possible to see the ‘board room’ we ask and she looks up with the corners of her lips turned downwards
“Are you people serious about renting or you are just disturbing me?”
eeeeh….. And there’s no electricity again! let the sneering dogs lie…

get brilliant place, with a large grassy compound, with trees and shade from the sun- perfect! And landlord gets to drawing up a lease- and we do a loving inch by inch scan (interior deco fingers itching!!)

Then the throne room; the loos… have to run about 300m, turn the corner and voila- a cement structure, struggling to keep upright in the midst of a chocking bush, which I was sure was home to a shocking number of species. The need (complete dire straits) overrides the fear of creepy crawlies and I make a dash through the doorway in to a squelching slippery slimy, and moss coloured and covered floor, that opened up to the most disgusting latrine loos I have ever seen… the closest being them filthy boarding school loos… eeow eeow eeow! Eeeeow! Totally gross! Gut retching gross!

When informed, the Landlord looked totally unperturbed and mentioned something about it (fixing the loo) not being rocket science (he could have fooled me) “it can be fixed, but that is now more costs”; then gazes at us unblinkingly, without shame… what the f#$K has that got to do with me?! It’s ur bleeding building and it is a downright disgraceful eeeooowky shame!

Move to next office space- a lewd leering old man has his eyes almost falling through my cleavage, and could literally hear them crawling up my colleague’s midi skirt.
“Actually I have space i think you would like- ok” (did he just lick his lips?!) ”… downstairs, corner office, right next to the entrance”- are you kidding us, we looove this space- poor thing looked like he had just been informed of a ménage a trois!
On follow up call next day to arrange for payment of rent, he grunts something about not being interested! And maybe we should wait till next year, he would have partitioned the top floor!...hmmmmmm
I know this is the time when we should have used our female wiles and cajoled the space out of him- then again, regale him and then pay for rent…eeeh I don’t think so!

Ps
Property guy needs airtime and busfare to get space … help! Anybody!!

About Jack Bauer... True Story!

2006-11-06T09:53:00.000-08:00

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe its beef.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Let's get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time.

Wait, that is a real fact.Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.

Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn't a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

When Jack Bauer pisses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

When the boogieman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer".

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the hell have you done with your life?

Jack Bauer killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball.

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Gotcha!! Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.

Guns don’t kill people, Jack Bauer kills people.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're dead."

Jack Bauer literally died for his country, and lived to tell about it.

Jack Bauer has been to Mars. That's why there's no life on Mars.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.

It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.

If Jack Bauer were gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.

Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.

After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.

Jack Bauer's family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.

symptomatic thirties

2006-11-06T09:32:00.000-08:00

yikes!....

#The midriff thickens- lowered metabolism…. Waist is not as waspish anymore

#A tyre begins a steady creeping in… and can be controlled by loads and loads of exercise

#The dimpling cellulite invades the thighs and backside

#And the waddle begins it’s descent

#The excitement of a decent cleavage (finally) is soon dampened by the slackening of the gravity defying booby work

Your arms develop wings… yes the flabby upper arms are no exciting feat

And the cute little tummy, becomes a major case of a permanently sucked up gut which doesn’t do much… but probably correct your body posture

All these can be pretty depressing, but can be fixed… with a lot of work, money, and time too… what you cannot take away is me, and knowledge of myself.

I no longer do the mob psychology thingie; don’t need to go partying, attend concerts or society gatherings because everybody is, and to top it off I will wear what I like… no matter how out dated it may seem- look at it as being ahead of the crowd, considering the cyclic nature of fashion- I have style! i am n longr a slave to fashion.

If I seem to be tolerating your BS, I would run a mile if I were you, think check and mate, I only sacrifice for a good reason… any laast words for your king?

the sex is soooo much better; it is divine! - and good lovers are keepers

I am a manipulative, calculating, shrewd bitch; I will get what I want and need; logic being the end justifies the means, non?… don’t frown, sneer or jeer, I have done my fair share of pro bono work and suffered countless internship sessions in all aspects of my life- it’s time to reap reap reap!

The other thing- revenge is a dish best served cold- I hardly ever get mad these; but I almost always get freakishly even.

I like

intelligent conversation,

a witty tongue,

a good hearty laugh,

a good argument…

cant stand

condescension,

‘youthful’ know-it-alls (please note the quotation marks),

bad liars; for I do have a healthy respect for good ones; getting played rarely happens, but when it does- reality cheque (pun intended), a stronger opponent makes my game better.

Me I

tire easily, I

need the mystery, or

a sharper mind, or

a well read being, or

widely traveled being;

I may drop off your radar from time to time, but I never discard what I like, then again, can’t leave on bread alone… yawn! yawn!

As I check into my thirties, you will probably think me decadent- it’s just a perception, it is time to indulge myself, and I shall do it in the same way a cat languorously stretches itself in its idyllic regal slumber… I finally, actually love me, for me, being me.

Here’s to the wicked thirties!

Ps
Happens next year!

coming soon

2006-10-25T02:40:00.000-07:00

A new revamped moi.

I just shed my skin and grew a few feet longer; but as soon as i break in these shoes- it will be up, up and away in blogdom.

a bientot

the thinker

2006-10-10T01:36:00.000-07:00

"love is a cruel and terrible master- one loses oneself for the sake of the other, but in doing so becomes enslaved and miserableto the most capricious of all gods"

Dearest sophocles puts it so well, though i guess here the idea is to be loved ; and the other will be enslaved, while you will gain a formidable friend (the enemy of your enemy...)

then again, this means that love is not an emotion, and to be in love is to enslave oneself, by ones actions... so why is it better to " have loved.... than not to have loved at all...?

Does this mean that we are first animals, but what actually distinguishes us from others is not the thought process, but the innane masochistic trait that wouldnt allow us to be the "fittest" in the jungle.

Tell me what love is, and I will tell you if I have loved, or have been an ignorant, indifferent wtf were you thinking fool!

i bet you think this post is about you.... (rhetoric)

missing you...

2006-09-20T09:32:00.001-07:00

I was going to blog about some really funny (funny haha and weird) events that have happened to me through most of my life when I received a call- Ramu is gone.

I remember first meeting Ramu, I was in second year and while walking into class he asked me for a pen, I gave him a pencil- then realised we were in the same class when he asked me for paper (honestly, you go to the shamba without a jembe) and I informed him that I knew he was hitting on me.

We got tight after that, mostly because our class attendance in some classes was next to nil, so virtually did these units via correspondence, he was an astute liar- I needed him for excuses when I missed tests or handed in course work late, and just feel superior when he hadnt read for an exam and I poured all my knowledge to him; with the downside of him mostly getting A's and me my B's.

a common practise was going to have lunch at the student's centre and having a beer, which became a beer too many, and doing the rest of our lectures via 'correspondence' again...

Our 'piano bar' were our favorites (we studied music) we would show off our skills (over a couple of drinks)till the wee hours of the morning on the piano, or flute, or recorder or the guitar for him, which prompted me to learn the drums... we sure do have a lot of time in university- considering we did five years each instead of four (there is a perfectly good explanation).

I will never forget the lunch time in our last year that shouldnt have been; but for the retakes we got through negligence like not showing up for a paper bcause you didnt want a C when you knew you could Ace it; back to the lunch, when I ordered a beer, and he asked for fanta and informed me he got saved over the holidays, and asked me to pass the salt.
There was silence for a bit as we both silently wondered if it would change everything....then went on talking like nothing happened.

After graduation I was disappointed that all the years of work I had put into campus culminated in the receving of a piece of paper that would show my prospective employers i was a graduate... "anticlimax" I chanted over and over- and he was vexed that he had missed his first class honours by a point and he was stuck grouped with me as an upper second (haha!)

I have vivid memories of you, and yes, we should have hooked up in Kisumu when you suggested it, and you have come to Kampala that time- and should have made it to Mombasa too.
I am stuck with your cell number which is off! you shant log on to your IM again and we shall not share another 'piano bar' moment'.

This saturday as you take your final earthly journey, listen out for Beethoven's 'moonlight sonata'- dont make a face, I played that better than you (Dr. Fr. Okello can bear witness!). We can share one last moment.

Rest In Peace Ramu- (you said it came from ramulus right- shall read up my greek mythology, till then, i will still crack up when i hear that name), and thank you for all the moments we shared; they were happy and carefree moments.

tee hee hee

2006-09-20T09:18:00.001-07:00

someone cracked me up today...

Why Africans Can't be Terrorists:

1. We are always late; we would have missed all 4 flights.

2. We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.

3. With food and drinks on the plane, we would forget why we're there.

4. . We talk with our hands; therefore we would have to put our weapons down.

5. We would ALL want to fly the plane.

6.. We would argue and start a fight in the plane.

7. We can't keep a secret; we would have told everyone a week before doingit.

number 4 is a favorite- it's sooo me!

prequel to the classics

2006-09-11T10:57:00.000-07:00

I remember once talking about 'the classics' in literature that I had read... and this academia/ 'cultured'/ 'i-am-educated' chap looked shocked ( my 'dumb blonde look is obviously very convincing', then it changed to intrigue and to my utter dismay (he was so not my type) almost my disarray he did the body language 'i-am-interested' thingie!

*eh?*

You know looking deep into your eyes, turning his body to face yours, tilting of head when listening to you even mirror your facial expressions - let's just say he looked ridiculous doing this considering thaton a scale of 1 to 10 in animated speech and grand theatrical gestures I am like a 28...

*she is complaining... why?*

The answer was simple- I had only read these literary classics in their ladybird kiddy versions like in early primary school (too many years ago)... you know like gulliver's travels, a tale of two cities, around the world in eighty days- had listened to kiddy audios of great expectaions, treasure island, tom sawyer and huckleberry finn.... getting the picture? (hahahaha pun intended! books were full of pictures!)

to be continued....

yep... I bluffed my way through it... I did it so well taking up polka actually seemed like a cash cow!

I had to do it...

2006-09-02T10:52:00.000-07:00

I celebrate my triumph! finally dragged my lazy sedentary arse back to the gym
*applause! applause*

so it hurts to write this post; (literally- something to do with sodding lactic acid)

what I love (see thin line) about the gym

1. Being asked how much weight by a gleeful instructor who tuts surreptitiously even when I tell the truth

please note: fat weighs far less than muscle and two words- water retention; that has it covered

2. The well toned adonis who believes that anything on the treadmill next to him is competing; hence making me feel like I am waiting for a bus (see inertia)
then again, it does give a smallville feel to the whole image

3. The toning exercises that keep me giggling (to the instructor's annoyance) especially when the mirror ahead tell you you look like a dog marking it's territory

4. obese people (see 'in my opinion') who give me advise on dieting... eeeh???

5. I love the endorphins

6. The pain tells me that my 'halle' is making her way to the surface... *

7. What is with guys... chaps...lads strutting around in the gym- you almost expect the feathers (see peacock), mating call and of course the dance the only prob is the most aggressive seem to be stuck in a time warp of what they looked like- or just have gargantuan egos

8. Are sweaty guys supposed to be a turn on?...

9. I have a strong chest/bust - I always whack the weights on that machine... I am sure I will find a plus to having a strong bust... *light bulb dimming*

10. . When does the pain stop?... there is smile therapy, positive thinking, sex and if all fails... good ol pain killers.

the power of sunday papers!

2006-08-24T10:34:00.000-07:00

I love Sundays- no alarm clocks!

1. Haul arse out of bed,

2. Clean mouth
* think up ways of capturing animal that surreptitiously craps in mouth

3. bottoms up the alkaseltzer- or whatever rememdy that works... not choosy at this point

4. cold juice

5. pick up my numerous sunday papers from door
*swear never to touch another drink while bending over precariously

6. back to bed.

*please note: the only constant is the sunday papers- other activities maybe slotted in at will

The rejuvenation begins; it is foolproof- well, was; until the bloody high school reunion headlines screaming not only from the front page but the entire bloody paper- (even Baz!- beef)

There's another one coming I am informed; Ntare! why?!!!!

the line

2006-08-20T00:51:00.000-07:00

I crossed the line last night when i looked back and wanted to live the moment just one more time

I totally forgot what got me across the line in the first place

when I was supposed to be in the moment, I realised it would never be that moment again; I realised I had moved on

when I opened my eyes, I really did want to forget last night;
dashed out and cursed all day

I crossed the line, but it isnt one you drew

I want you... us to draw a line

because I like being with you

no, love being with you
I dont want to go back, I want to move on

yes, with you- let's get over this and quit the mark timing

scatter braining it

2006-08-17T10:34:00.000-07:00

Weird how good friends, old boyfriends call or appear in town in the same week... has my telepathy moved on to mind control?- just spooky... (ish)
working on the mind control skill

* staring at the back of boss' head and concentrating*... the options are limitless!

Can someone tell me what I am missing when I see the news on the 'almighty Kony'! the hugging, the new clothes and chartered flights for his family(ies) and his ridiculous requests that are actually being considered!

*double retch!!*

suggestion box... place his head in the way of several stray bullets (just to be sure) and let's just move up to step 2.

I absolutely love coupling...(the sitcom!!) ... and I wonder why no one thought of it- a glowing clit!
"move around the light luv"
I would go with the colour green... go team go!

I am yet at another crossroad in life... why me?? I know people who wouldnt have a clue what that means...why do i have to keep choosing... cant i just have my cake and eat it?!

really looking forward to Hugh Masekela...

Just wondering....

2006-08-01T01:57:00.000-07:00

"You are one of the guys..." was just wondering exactly that it means.

Are saying I talk and behave like a guy?( in the nicest way possible... eeooow!)

or do you mean that I have lost my curves, and worse still my sexual appeal?

Does that mean you can bum off my ciggies like forever and ask me to buy you a drink like all the time?

wait a minite... this a punishment for not inflating or stroking your ego, right?

Am I off the hook then? can I keep deflating your ego then?

Does that mean I need to polish my 'pimping' services (just for you), seeing that I am closest to the female species among the 'guys'?

Actually the more I think about it... eeeh I am flattered (should I be?) but, I really dont want to be one of the guys...

ps
it was a rant of sorts

an unquiet mind

2006-07-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

Not mine mind... just my latest read -I would have told you to see image above, uploadding time too long- (not amused)- so went on and put a totally irrelevant image ( very amused)

My mind is getting pretty disquitened now...I am being infomed that there's a thin line between creativity and insanity...

There is no room for boring in my line of work... my leisure time is full of all things creative well apart from the booze- must be conditioning or genes.

I am half way through- will finish book, and get rid of the noise and get back to my life-I dont like the psychoanalysis shit, it messes with my head and makes me think methinks I am mad- but it is a good read.... now you understand why I like me trashy 'out of this world' novels- just need to give me mind a short vacation.

so back to Kay Redfield Jamison and her unquiet mind- looking for brilliant insights (or award winning concepts)- will tell you about it.

I hate asskissers... sneak preview to a rant coming soon

*music up*fluff pillow* sip drink* recline* and a bientot...*

may day, may day

2006-07-25T04:26:00.001-07:00

This is a case of reading instructions after using appliance, or puting it together and realising that one you have an extra piece(it must be a spare part yeah?)

*wail*anyway, i would really like to add my favorite blogs onto my page,*sniff , sniff* and my favorite links, it just wont work.

pls be kind at my show of lack of knowledge and perform you good deed for the month (see help lissingmink with whatever problem she has on blogging)... *light bulb* your sex life will improve immensely...you cant pass that up can you? *large wide puppy eyed look* help a sister here.

one last *sniffle* for the road.
here's you chance to rescue your damsel in distress; she's looking over the horizon for her prince (or princess- tee hee) riding his laser mouse.

my boy lollipop

2006-07-12T06:56:00.000-07:00

E-the pre-sex boyfriend- i learnt how to cook (i am darn good now)- he dared me and i went went like bring it on- and dashed to my friend's place, who taught me how to cook spaghetti and mince meat. he brought out the best in me- then... he rewaltzed into my life hoping for lessons in sex... eeeh

M- the first non-starter in my life;
body language "hello! i am throwing myself at you here- you wouldnt know p***y if it sat on your face!"
M: "pass the salt"
there have been a few afterwards, I must admit it was kinda cute (once upon a time!!) but... dont have the energy luv!

R- m's friend who became my first shag and and lesson in heartbreak, heartache and consequently, the rebound.

P- was a case of date rape; had it out with him 2 ys later, insulted him and told him to 'go to hell', and felt the weight lift off my shoulders, wasnt as exhilarating when I received the news 6 months, that he had died in a car crash - and FYI i was oceans away from him, dont get ur imagination a-ticking.

V- my first dump- that wasnt the problem, this was ;"it's not you *deep sigh* it is me.."
i was like hell no! you did not just use my line on me! Was in shock, then decided to get even; wormed my way back into his life and dumped him- hahaaaaa who's laughing now! i feel ... i feel just eeeh nothing?... well will do happy dance anyway; take that!

B- most experimental shag- but least ambitious partner... just wouldnt work

P- we should have been; wont take anything for 'guaranteed'(see granted) again. we see each other about once or twice a year, and we have both moved on, in a fleeting moment of familiarity encumbered by our different lives now, and the question still hangs ...

"what happened?..when..how... who?"

J- had learnt my lesson from P well and this was memorable, *sigh* too bad we were going different places as in geographically, timezone speaking but still- *singing ...i had the time of my life* and no it isnt ironic that it was theme song to dirty dancing - the movie for chrissake

H- my first and i hope the very last premature ejaculator! *crossing myself*- I am doing a good deed a day to keep this terrible misfortune out of my next lives.

M- you still make my heart skip a bit, ok well it's like trippin all over the place... maybe I will blog about u sometime...

The thought counts...

2006-07-01T01:29:00.000-07:00

It's now official, we are in the 2nd half of the year, and tommorow is my birthday- always gets me thinking about things... you know... things

I decided to learn a new language (again) would really love to do a stint in a Francophone contry...no- a portugueese country (portugaphone?...) *dreamy look...sigh* actually remembering dreamy Portugeese apollo I once knew- maybe i should take up sign language instead- no portugeese. So look for my good old directory and no- we do not have a Portuguese embassy; French it is... eh, beginning of next year.

Clearing book shelf now, and what do i see, my piano sheet music- i was supposed to get back to that. drat missed the exams this year! sigh...soon, very soon- stroke favorite music book lovingly, hum a few notes, and oh well, where's my Kaweesa CD(topping my charts at the moment)

Latest shopping spree was very rewarding; can still feel the endorphin high, got myself sneakers, in answer to the call to action to start gymming- when did I decide this? yeah, my last birthday- but not to worry, better late than never- they look fab with my jeans... hungry, might as well eat- since i will be going to the gym now... soon; very soon.

oh yeah, get a headache when i think of it- my MBA- been doing it since... aaah stopped counting the years, when is the deadline for intake? mental note to pass by university and pick application forms. I wonder how David (not real name) is doing- i always feel pretty enlightened after a polite drink up with him; genius, he is. oh well, back to latest trashy novel (hey, i tried the Gandhi autobiography- kept falling asleep- i know, i know he is supposed to be inspiring; just preffered the Dorothy Danderich autobiography); a book a week is the motto.

Tired of the old haunts, made pact with friend to see more of Uganda; after all we are supposed to be "gifted by nature"; why not now... Sunday, let's go for it- ooh the rush... *humming- "i am going out of town...* what am I going to wear- staring at totally packed wardrobe- "*wail* i have nothing to wear!". wait, if i am going out of town, need to call...eeeeh...uuuuh...eeeeh- ok, first things first, make mental note to up my 'friendship maintenance'.

Ok if I can't make it out of town I will do the outskirts, paintball- hooking up with Moha (still not real name)- figured it is the safer option; ever since trying shooting clay pigeons, got freaked out by maniacal look on partner's face as he shot at clay pigeons, and didnt quite the ringing in the ears, and ok fine- i sucked big time!
I digress; back to paintball- look for oldest jeans and t-shirt, and slip into sneakers- all set for the paintballs; we get to venue and..
"you up to it?"
"yeah, you?"
"yeah, yeah, just.."
"me too; I'm hungry- lunch?"
"sure... while we think about it of course"
"of course"
and that was as close as we got to the paint balls- the lunch was fantstic!

I can give a zillion examples, 'yawn yawn' .... Hey, dont judge me. I aim for the sun to reach... well, I reach the first floor sometimes; touch the clouds, then 5th floor- at the end of the day; the thought counts, doesnt it?

Me Me Me

2006-06-26T05:20:00.000-07:00

I am now going to have some me time.

I will write as I please because it is my blog.

I shall not try to be clever, witty or exciting- I shall be just me

I will speak about whichever topic i feel like- and if you bring up a topic; I shall not always back you up (even if it is just for entertainment's sake)- i will speak my mind!

I will inform you- whether you are the boss or not- if your work just doesnt do it, i only use 4 muscles to smile, but i am now fatigued. think tough love. Tough ha ha

I will say no, if i dont feel like having some; and no i will not entertain your pervy ideas to retain your fuck-buddiness- plenty of fish and that is just the dam...

I will not suck up to your spongy friends- i am about all dried up; and no, i dont give a fuck if his dad is or was the CJ, minister or even president of our abundant regimes- bad manners is bad manners, even dressed up in burberry's

I demand that you return all my stuff- whether you think i am being funny haha or otherwise- it is mine- me- you borrowed. wait for your birthday, and hope that santa's still alive; he just might give me a call.

I request kindly *eyes glinting with evil* that you cease to discuss what you think you know of my love life- wait for the bleedin wedding card
note
this demand is valid for the next 2 decades- it is subject to change without notice

Dont hate me for being clever- i worked hard at 'clever' i read a book or two a week and yes, i get down to the nitty gritty of what i like- so fight fair; and dont get nasty when your shallow knowledge of an issue I am passionate about, runs out.

If I dont feel like talking to you i will not- i am 'trained' (see conditioning) to say hi, dont expect more- especially if you fall in the 'very small doses' category, or 'always rub me the wrong way' category; but if you fall in the I will talk to you when inebriated; say hi and get me a stiff drink- cheers

I am allowed to bitch about my job, I spend about 55hrs a week on it, and still work when not in the office- I would like to be doing better things like sleeping- but I love my job and will bitch about it as I please

Ok, you dont like me- that's alright, coz i really dont give a shit- just dont try to be nice, or worse still try to engage in 'meaningful conversation' my snap-o-meter is not resilient, so when i snap and cant unsnap- dont look at me like i am a mean icy bitch or raving lunatic at worst.

So, you are a golddigger; good for you went though that stage, what about you, like your men white? fine; oh, you cant stand women who take beer; you only have sex after the third date...cool; dont mind lesbians but cant stand homosexuals; you believe that a woman should manage the home while you party' you'll pay for the bills of course- ok refer to sentence 4... ; still chummy chummy? if you're cool- we could go places

Your complimenting me, and flattering me the whole night; and peeing around me to mark territory does not guarantee you a shag tonight love- was lovely, I love the attention- you're just not my type; well that is unless you are...

Yes, i get along with my 'partners' at work- we work together, got to know how he (well mostly) thinks- please stop reffering to their partners each time you see us together; i DO have a sex life; then again, I could always give you something to talk about.

ok, I can go on and on... but it just isnt the same as sleeping, it comes so easy...

ode to Uganda

2006-06-06T04:42:00.000-07:00

“…I like I really like- I am falling in love…”

Finding out I was Ugandan as a teenager, was at the very least an earth moving experience for this teenage whose aim in life was to turn sweet sixteen like Maria in Sound of music.

It was like the female mammoth in ice age finding out she is not an opossum… hmmm but I guess, you always know deep down, like why cant you help me with my Kiswahili homework, and how come we have to kneel while greeting our granny, and mum it is not chikuyu for the nth time, ki ki ki kikuyu.

Now I am back home, no, home is not where the heart is… home is where home is… I love seating over a drink, with my people as they reminisce… and talk about my home, and my history

I love the boda boda, biker gangs in the making

The intrigue; how everyone seems to have a godfather of sorts

The grape vine; I fall, and you call me from Gulu in 5 minutes time to ask if I am ok

The scenery; yes, gifted by nature- flushing out all other holiday spots till I am done here

The silver back gorilla- you can see him in the picture- I am planning the trip to Bwindi park, the trek and my 60 minutes with him

The njawulo- ‘multi-tasking’ is everyone’s forte- everyone is making an extra dime

The stubborn need to be grounded- very vocal on moral issues, but.. eeeeh… you have to do as we say…

The kweyanjula and kuhinjira- a colourful ceremony where the guy asks for the chick’s hand in marriage- the cultural dress, the flair- the extended family

The love for life- we live everyday to the fullest

Those that wont let us forget- that they went to the ‘bush’ to fight

the list is endless, and so far I like I really like- I am falling in love- I am embrace my Uganda-ness; a new day a new story, my story.

I love Uganda, I love being Ugandan- I am home

ta daaaa

2006-05-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

what do you think?...

so sick of love songs...

2006-05-08T05:16:00.000-07:00

he is leaving... i am trying to figure out what i am feeling.

"what do you find in him, he is soooo annoying, can you believe who she's going to see...? and the usual grumbles and mutterings went on and and on about this new fellow in my life...well, this was the second phone call, I was going to hook up with him...he just drove everyone nuts with anger, irritation or jealousy- "my God" i thought- "he must be like an enigma of sorts- jackpot!". this is just too interesting to pass over; should keep me on my toes.

After the first date...well, it wasnt a date date- but yeah, there was no looking back... the attention was flattering, his arrogance refreshing, his outlook endearing- till the moon came out, and that was it! like the annoying itch that you can reach- then it was just pain... stumped my feet, lashed my toungue, hissed, pulled silent treatment... but always had amnesia of sorts- yeah must have been, why did i keep on going on 'not a date dates'?

settled into genuine camaradarie... enjoying each others company and knowing when to scream "red flag!!" and the other party sounding the retreat... soon lulled into distant camaraderie... and after 3 weeks, "oh hi, ...ok let's hook up" or bump into each other at one pub or the other...and "where u seated ? what you drinking..." pretty cool.

Then silence... 2 months " want to lose at pool?" cant resist a challenge ok a dare; meet old friends laugh, argue, get really really drunk- was a good night... then the question comes "when did you say you were leaving?" he clears throat, and mumbles something about going to take a piss ...i think hell no "you taking the piss!" "what?" he asks- did i say that out loud? i must be pissed..." see you guys; when do YOU leave? "

he is cowering- weird coz he is like really tall- 'in two days"
"cool"
"eeeh.."
what?!!
"miss me?"
"does it make a difference?.. take care, was great.."

phone ringing..." what?" "what do you mean... am I ok...oh you leaving.. no cant see you off, fucking hangover...call, write if you can, bye"

ok, you cannot cry. why, he was a good friend... so, he didnt... doesnt matter!- can someone turn off that goddam radio!

phone again... "jazz tomorrow? baxmba and austrian jazz string quartet..." "ok.. what time?...cool."

we back- yeah, how did you guess? no one likes him either- ...and i aint sick of love songs...lol time to move on.

hmm...

2006-05-03T00:13:00.000-07:00

are we there yet?

a guy called murphy...

2006-05-01T22:47:00.000-07:00

the sequels never quite march up but noooo... i take my backside to the movies...yes, final destination 3. you know what will happen- i guess that is part of the movie- it just gets better doesnt it? more squelches, ghastly scenes of blood, i think the nail gun was the best worst scene- watch the whole movie through tightly squeezed eyes, that just happen to be open behind my hand... that suddenly seems eeeeeh.... not quite opaque.
i guess we are all suckers... deep down, you know things will go wrong, and you try to figure how, why, variants etc- in essence bad news is 'good' news.

ps
a friend once proposed a mobile drunkards catheter... i second it- that is the last time i have a zozzled bloody beer buddy crashing on my sofa...!!

Any ideas on how to market the catheter?...

... and there was yet another blog...bla bla bla

2006-04-28T00:56:00.000-07:00

teenie weenie baby steps... and the blogeese begins... a few more moments wont hurt- it has been a journey full of tedium- the story?....